Hi,

I have never owned a cat so I don't know much about them and their behavior. I'm hoping someone here might be able to help us.

My grandson is 9 years old and has had his cat, Jolie, since he was
in kindergarten. They got her as a kitten for him and it's "his"
cat. She stays in his room for the most part, but they've never had
any problems with her getting along with their other pets, three
large dogs, a parrot and a bunny. She has been spayed.

Well, yesterday my daughter accidently somehow hit a kitten with her
car. She must have just nicked it a little because she's ok today.
She was too young to be weaned from her mother so my daughter called
the local shelter and they told her to feed her kitten formula every
three hours for the next two weeks. They weren't looking to get
another cat right now but planned on getting one for my four year
old granddaughter in the future so she could have her own cat too so
I told her maybe God just wanted them to have this one for some
reason now.

So, here's the problem. Jolie was in the room with the kitten today.
She was in there for about five minutes and my granddaughter went to
pet her and she started hissing at her badly and my daughter said if
she hadn't been declawed in the front, she would have really hurt my
granddaughter when she went to scratch her too. She said she just
started acting feral and when my son-in-law tried to pick
her up, she bit him multiple times. They finally covered her with a
sheet and were able to pick her up and put her back in my grandson's
room. They hoped once she was in there she'd calm down and go back
to her usual self, but she hissed at my grandson too. They gave her
some of her favorite food hoping it would help, but she has still
hissed at him since. I'm not sure if that was a good idea or a bad
idea...rewarding bad behavior or softening things???

Obviously, everyone is very upset. My daughter told my grandson that
of course, Jolie will come first and they will find another home for
the kitten, (will also put an ad in the paper to see if someone is looking for it) but that they can't keep Jolie if she doesn't calm down
and go back to being herself either. She can't keep a cat that she
couldn't trust not to bite someone, especially around children.
She's not sure they'd be able to find a home for a cat that might
bite and is afraid they might have to put her to sleep. My grandson
watches Animal Planet and said, "oh no, we're going to have to put
her down" and was crying. I did talk to him for quite awhile
though tonight and promised him that I would try to get
some help for him online. He went into detail with me as to what I should
say. You can imagine how his heartbreak breaks a Grandma's heart.

In the meantime, they're definitely keeping them separated and I
thought maybe it would be best if my grandson doesn't touch the kitten
anymore so he doesn't even have her scent on him. Was Jolie just so
jealous of this kitten that she's reacted this way and will it pass?

If there's anything anyone could tell me that would help us know
what to do, we'd appreciate it very much. Thanks so much!

Hello Latte,

First off al, why do you keep a cat in one room? This sounds a bit harsh to me. Also de-clawing isn't very naturaly A cat needs to have plenty of space to walk about (and if possible has to go outside too) I'm not surprised she freaked out, If the only place she knows is that room and never socialise with other animals she will feel very threatend by this kitten.
Can you tell a bit more about the cat:
-what kind of personality does she have?
-what and how does she eat?
-did she have any illnesses ?
-how often does she see the other animals in the house and if, were, in her room ?
-what kind of breed is she?

Mirjam

Hi,

Thank you for taking the time to answer my post. I'll try to answer all of your questions.

I was just talking to my daughter and was wrong about keeping Jolie in one room. They have just moved back to MI recently from HI and Jolie was in my grandson's room most of the time when we were there. Her water bowl and food is in there and her litter box and they sleep together. I guess she just chose to stay in there most of the time when we were there, but she does come out and is around the other animals every day. However, our grandson was the one who took care of her all of the time when they got her purposely because they wanted for him to be her cat and now she thinks it was a mistake because they wish she were friendlier with them also. She'll tend to run away more when they pet her, but not when my grandson does. She said she isn't really a lap cat, but likes to sit next to my grandson to be pet and sleeps in his bed. I was able to pet her though when I was there so it's not as if she isn't friendly at all. I thought she was a very sweet cat.

I completely agree with you about the declawing, my daughter and I had discussions about that when she had it done. Later I read an article about it and was even more upset by it...I'm going to try to find that article again because I seem to remember there was another alternative to declawing in it. At the time she didn't want to but she was beginning to snag all of their furniture.

This morning she said they're not going to keep this kitten but try to find her a good home, but if I had to place a bet on this, I'd doubt it. While we were on the phone she kept saying things like, "do you hear that, she doesn't purr, she squeaks like a toy," or "she's so sweet, she sits in our laps." Her husband walked in their room and said, "hi, kitty kitty" in the sweetest voice. He didn't want another animal, they do have a housefull now, but he's also a real softie. When my daughter first brought her home I was talking to him on the phone and told him God must have brought this kitten to him for a reason and maybe she's going to save their lives or something one day , and he told me not to go getting all theological on him...<g> Then I told him maybe they should name her Desitiny...

Back to Jolie, she doesn't have an illness of any kind and they don't know what kind of cat she is. All I know is she's a very pretty little black cat. I asked my daughter what they feed her and she said Natural Choice Adult cat food. Is that good or bad as commercial food goes? I personally homecooked for our dog for 17 or his 19 years and would love to see her do that also, but I haven't been able to convince her of that yet, I haven't given up though..

She doesn't allow her to be outside because she said she read that it shortens their life by 50%. Someone else told me about a book they said was excellent, "Know Your Cat" by Bruce Fogle, DVM. We will read that and see what we can learn.

I called her this morning to tell her about the answers I received to my posts and tell her that I also read an article saying that Jolie's reaction to seeing this kitten for the first time was very natural, especially for two females and how to introduce them to each other. She wasn't trying to bring them together when this happened. Jolie walked in the room where the kitten was and it just all happned. If she had any idea it would have been like that, she would have made sure to keep the door closed but since there wasn't a problem with the other animals, it didn't occur to her there would be a problem. Everything just happened so quickly. She wasn't out looking for another cat, suddenly she was just bringing home a kitten and caring for it and everything happened.

Also, this morning Jolie was back to her old self allowing everyone to pet her and there was no more hissing so I was thrilled to hear that. They're definitely keeping the two of the separate now, but while my daughter was saying they weren't going to keep this kitten, she also said by the end of the conversation that she'd go read the article I had found about introducting them to each other so we'll see how this all ends.

Again, thank you so much for responding to me, I really appreciate it. I also have a friend who just recently took in his son's cat because he wasn't allowed to have him where he moved to. It's working out very well and they're wonderful company for each other and I told him I'd research for him the best food to feed him so it looks like I'm going to start learning more about cats. I'll probably be posting more here in the future.

Hello Latte,

First of all, I think you are great for caring that much for your grandsons cat. It is very good to read a lot about the subject. I think your daughter has to listen a bit more to your advice
I will sugest anyway a Bach Flower remedy that can help the cat adjusting to the new situation.

Walnut
Star of Bethlehem
Honeysuckle

from every remedy you put 4 drops from the stockbottle into a 30ml pipette bottle (don't know the English name but the store where you buy the bachflowers will know what I mean) and fill this with non gas mineralwater.
You can give both cats ( the honeysuckle is more for the kitten but the remedies are the most important for Jolie) 4x daily 4 drops each into there mouths, (try not to touch there mouths with the pipette)
Some people ( I do) find it easier to put the drops pure (stockbotle) into there drinking tray so they can take de remedies during the whole day. Than you put 4 drops of each remedie from stockbotle in ther drinking tray. Every time when you refresh the water you put new drops into it.

About the food, I don't know the brand b'cause I live in Holland. As long it isn't just tin food. Further you can look on the internet what is maybe a good brand.
Maybe you can find good information here : http://www.shirleys-wellness-cafe.com/sitemap.htm

Mirjam

Please consider Comfort Zone Plug-In with Feliway. This is not a homeopathic treatment (with apologies to the board).

More info:

“Comforts cats in stressful or new environments; non-toxic formula is odorless to humans. Comfort Zone plug-in provides your cat all-day calming therapy for up to four weeks. It mimics a cat's facial pheromones to calm cats in stressful environments. You have seen your cat contently rub her face on the furniture, corners of the room, bottom of curtains - and even you. She's marking her surroundings with special facial pheromones. These pheromones reassure her that all is well in her little world. However, if something stressful disturbs your cat's environment such as a new pet, visitors, moving to a new home, or even rearranging the furniture, she may begin urine marking, scratching or may even stop eating and interacting. Used where the cat spends most of her time, Comfort Zone with Feliway will soon calm and reassure her once again, greatly reducing, or completely stopping the stress-related behavior. Simply add Feliway liquid and plug into electrical outlet.”

“Perfect anytime your cat must adjust to a different situation. Odorless and non-toxic to humans; for rooms up to 650 sq ft. Contains one plug-in and one 48 ml bottle of Feliway.”

You can buy these from Drs. Foster & Smith’s catalog (see http://www.drsfostersmith.com/, select "cats," select "stress control") or from most pet stores, including PetSmart. See the above url for photos, etc. Drs. Foster & Smith currently has these on sale; their 800 number, in case you prefer ordering by telephone, is 800/826-7206. Once you buy the atomizer/s, you only have to buy the refill bottles, which can be found as cheaply as $13.25 each. One bottle lasts one month.

You may need more than one diffuser depending on the size of your home. If you cannot afford to diffuse your entire home, diffuse the area/s where your cat/s spend most of his or her or their time. Again, look at the room critically: don't place the diffuser under a table (from which it can't diffuse into the room properly) and don't place them near air intake vents. Pls don't purchase or use the spray; it only causes your cats to avoid the sprayed areas.

It may take up to one month to see the full benefits, but we saw a change in our dear cat in two days.

Again, you can purchase these at many stores, and once you've invested in the atomizers, you only have to purchase the refills.

Pls consider trying this. We looked for years for answers for our cat, our dear Bernie, before we found Feliway, and the change was dramatic. It will not affect your cats' personalities or harm them in any way. It is more expensive than a homeopathic treatment, but you cannot go wrong with it. And it will work.

Thank you all for taking the time to make these great suggestions. I have passed them both on to my daughter.

I agree with you that she should listen to me more. So far "Denali" and "Jolie" are doing all right. Jolie was ok the next day and so far she hasn't needed to use anything to calm her down.

I sent her an article on how cats are supposed to be introduced to each other so she's doing it very slowly now and so far things are working out. They've decided to keep "Denali" and named her after my daughter's car that nicked her. She will be our granddaughter's cat, but the entire family will care for her so hopefully she will be good with all of them where Jolie definitely and obviously prefers our grandson. Hopefully too Denali will become good friends with Jolie and will not feel the loss as much when Payton heads off to college in ten years.

My biggest problem now is my daughter is still insisting she's going to have Denali declawed on her front paws also and I'm doing my best to convince her not to. I've sent her numerous articles to read and she told me she would read them but she is still going to do it. Hopefully after she reads them, she'll change her mind and work on training Denali so she won't hurt the furniture or drapes. If anyone has any suggestions regarding this, all would be appreciated.

Again, thank you all for your help. I appreciate it so much!

Hugs,

Gail