I inherited two cats who had been together for a couple of years. I had to give away one because it was scratching my mother who couldn't defend herself. Its been about a month...this cat hardly eats anything. I had the same bowl of cat food there for two weeks...then tried another brand...won't eat it. It has brought the innards of some animal and a bird into the garage so maybe it eats mice and stuff from outside. It isn't getting particularly skinny..but it has a look in its eye that is different from before...more of an animal look instead of a sweet little kitty. This cat has never liked to be picked up and petted. Tho it will nudge against people. It roams around a lot at night. Once late at night I saw it about 8 blocks from my house. When I hold the door open for it...it always takes its time. Will sleep in same room as me or my boarder but not in daytime...always in another room. As her stopping eating coincided with the other cat going I have to think there may be a connection.

Always...her rump has convulsed now and then when she is lying on floor. Kind of like the "alien" is about to shoot out of her. I don't really want this cat. I wanted the other one but I had to take both. She does not seem to be afraid of strangers. She likes to be in my massage room...but maybe because the door is closed...and she wants to be free to come and go. I don't know. The other cat would fall asleep on ones lap. This one..never.

Is there something I could give this cat so I'd like it better?

Yes, something might be done. Maybe the folks who took the other cat will take this poor soul. They were obviously deeply attached...she lost her lifelong companion, was turned out to roam at night (NEVER put cats outside at night, it's when they are most likely to be hit by cars or taken by an owl or....etc., etc........, mornings are when you see all the dead cats on the roads!), same food left for how long...two weeks! Sounds like Mommy Dearest, you eat that or you get nothing else!

That cat knows you don't want her. Listen to yourself. "It" hasn't a sweet kitty look, "I wanted the other one and had to take this one".
The "alien" thing is probably a prolapsed rectum. Very serious and you can bet very painful. Worst thing in the world would be a two week old dish of dry food as her diet. Explains not getting "too skinny yet". It may well be a result of colitis from the stress of taking her friend away and having to live where she is obviously not wanted. You never mentioned if she ("it") strains at stool, has diarrhea/constipation, seeks heat, thirst/thirstless.....but then you probably never noticed.

Among remedies to possibly consider are Aloe, Collin, Podo and Ruta as specifics and most particularly change her diet. I think someone more qualified might be able to recommend a grief remedy for her. If left unattended she will become infected and solve your problem of not wanting her.

Oh, I forgot, you want to give her something so you can "like IT better" !!!!!!! I think I better stop now before I say anything more......grrrrrrrr.

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Sometimes on Earth, you can find something that resembles a little piece of Heaven. And sometimes on Earth, a little piece of Heaven can find you.

By the way, "it" is probably roaming 8 blocks from home looking for the only other being that gave her love.....the cat you had to "give away" because she wasn't performing correctly. Or she may be looking for a decent meal.

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Sometimes on Earth, you can find something that resembles a little piece of Heaven. And sometimes on Earth, a little piece of Heaven can find you.

Dear GPM...the cat that I gave away because it wasn't performing correctly was digging its nails into my mother's arms in the middle of the night...in her bed. She had cuts and scabs and infections all over her arms. Both cats wanted to be out all night from the beginning. I only "dislike" this remaining cat because it is not a very friendly cat...never has been. I took them in because noone else would take the two of them together. There is a 3 cat per household law in my state so the other person can't take this cat as they now have three. Why don't you take the cat since you are so concerned... My plate is full in terms of taking care of my mother...I do my duty with this cat. Its a nusisance to see that it is not eating...and I've tried wet food and I've tried my own food...so get off your high horse and come over here and take the cat or give me a hand with my mother so I can spend more time loving the cat. Hmff.!!!!

Sounds like simple solution to have closed your mother's bedroom door to prevent scratching. My cats would *like* to do lots of things that are or could be harmful, but as with children, we don't always let them do whatever they want. She is not eating, making herself a "nuisiance" (sic) to you because she isn't well. Some people's plates just seem to be filled more easily. I don't have a very high horse to come down from, it may just be the persective.

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Sometimes on Earth, you can find something that resembles a little piece of Heaven. And sometimes on Earth, a little piece of Heaven can find you.

Carrol,
I understand your feelings that this cat just isn't the one for you. I've been stuck with many cats that I certainly would not have chosen as companions but I think we need to take the attitude that as with people we have to learn to get along. GPM is so right in her assesment, I have seen a lot of cases like this and unfortunately the cat that is more dependent on "cat companionship" has a more difficult time making the transition, all of a sudden their companions are human and its depressing and confusing for them. GPM is right to sound the alarm, because in many of these cases, the cat will make themselves sick and die (they seem to have no will to live). The cat should be checked by a vet asap. We also have a 3 animal bylaw, however I guarentee you that it is only put into place to police "collectors" whose 30 odd animals will become a nuisance to the neighbourhood. Ultimately if you can convince your friends to take the other cat as well (with the promise to "deal" with consequences should they come up) it would be best. Other than that, another solution would be to get another cat yourself as a new companion to the cat. Pick a cat that jives with your personality, you will have the cat you want and the one you have will probably grow on you as the pressure is taken off of it by the presence of another cat. As far as eating, it sounds like she is a hunter and probably eats quite a bit of what she catches. Try offering her real, raw food (chicken, veggies, dairy, eggs etc.). Also carnivours naturally eat once a day and very often fast (think wild tiger etc). Check her at the vet, if they can find nothing wrong with her GI and rectum, keep a watchful eye on her weight. Also if she is eating a lot of mice, birds etc. you may want to periodically give black walnut or another deworming agent. GPM's suggestion about keeping the bedroom door closed is good and effective (pets should have their own beds anyway), if you mother doesn't like the door closed (I don't personally), she can install a second, screen door to keep closed at night (really easy to make yourself). This still allows for great air circulation and the feeling of not being "closed in", it works great for me and I no longer wake up with my eyes scratched up etc. (sometimes its not so great to be a heavy sleeper!) Also clipping the cats nails down can help. I would definitly ask for help in selecting a grief remedy, I think this cat would benefit from it in the meantime.
PS: If feeding kibble, once the bag is opened it will become stale very quickly, it should be given fresh everyday and probably kept in the fridge or freezer once opened, but try to feed her real food and give her a routine. My grandmothers cat lived into his 30's, he hunted all day and then came in at night to eat 1/2 can of food before he went to bed. Rountine is very important to these guys, physically and pyschologically.

[ 09 May 2002, 18:57: Message edited by: kkrista ]

I also wanted to add a general post. I know that gpm is in a simuliar situation to my own. (her's is probably more taxing because I don't believe she has many volunteers to help out!). Sometimes we get frustrated. I get calls from people who "already have a cat and can't possibly look after another..." and I think, lady, check out my situation... I have 10 living in my house and another 25 in the shelter to look after (its hard to be sympathetic sometimes). We start out doing this because we love it but lets face it, these guys live 15-20 years, and after a while its hard not to burn out or feel resentment. For myself, I'm not some little old lady trying to pass the time; I go to school, work full time, volunteer and try to have a life besides. I sometimes think if everyone would just be responsible for one...
I'm glad that you agreed to take responsibility for these cats and they didn't just end up at a shelter, but gpm is right to comment on quality of life for them as well. Fortunately for the cat, it sounds like you want to work this out. I hope it turns out well!

I'm sure the cat knows how I feel about her. I don't try to hide it. I think she is stupid. In fact, thats what I call her.."stupid cat", come here stupid cat...She has her way of trying to be nice to me and it just makes me want to throw up...innards of some poor defenseless creature or a half baked bird brought to the steps to the house in the garage. I have more s ympathy for whoseever intestines those were than I do for the cat. But you'll be glad to know, GPM, that your good thoughts for "it" may have worked, as she has started eating out of her bowl today. And I don't usually refer to "it" as "it", I usually refer to all cats as "he". I had a cat before...for 15 years, never once took it to the vet(except to be spaded)...it never killed anything...it would bring birds into the house now and then....alive. And it took walks with us...and I'll never forget that cat whose name was kitty. But this cat was brought up by someone else....and cats reflect their owners...and this cat doesn't reflect me. The other cat whose name was lyndon....was a black, part siamese cat. My first cat was siamese and had mated with a black cat and had a litter of 5 black cats which I farmed out. Lyndon never responded to the name "lyndon" but when I called it "kitty" it came running to me. I think it was a relative of the original cat. Now that was a cat. I could wear that cat around my neck like a scarf in the winter and it would just stay there on my neck. I loved that cat. And that cat loved being outdoors and I live near a wooded reserve with racoons and I wasn't going to declaw it and have some racoon assassinate it. But I could never leave my mother alone with that cat...I'd have to put her in the basement(not my mother, the cat). She thought I was punishing her. But, I sleep with my mother and twice I woke up in the middle of the night and that cat was using my mother as her scratching post. I found a good home for her. This other cat...is going to have to learn to be less stupid or I'm going to drown "it". (just kidding, gpm)

You might want to explain your problem to the folks who now have the cat you liked so much and see if they are willing to give him back to you. Krista's idea about a screen door for the bedroom is excellent. (I should have thought of it myself since we have these doors throughout the house in order to limited what rooms the squirrels can roam into when they are loose in the house. Not because I am opposed to them having full access but because I am concerned that they might chew a wire and be hurt if I can't keep up to where they are.) If they are willing to return the cat, your present cat may once again become healthy. They have only had the other cat for one month so it may be a possibility particularly if they know how your cat is suffering the loss.

I told the story of Ernie (cat) on the BB some time ago. He waited two years for the little girl who didn't want him anymore, to come back for him. These animals have more love and devotion in them than many, many humans I know.

I still think your attitude one that probably shouldn't have an animal like a cat because you want to benefit from the animal instead of having the animal benefit by you. Cats rarely try to service human needs. Animals always know what's inside people, cats especially. They are great judges of character. Try thinking how you can make the cat happier and healthier.......you may be very surprised how she blossoms.

If the kitty is threatening prolapsed rectum, try giving live active acidolpolis, vit C and maybe pectin tablets at the very least, as I think she may have colitis.

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Sometimes on Earth, you can find something that resembles a little piece of Heaven. And sometimes on Earth, a little piece of Heaven can find you.

Carol,
When a cat brings you the fruits of a hunt it is considered a very great honour! Cats are part of our ecosystem and have a place in it. She is trying to PLEASE you, trying to let you know that she is accepting you as part of the pack; not irritating you. We fed a rowdy looking stray all winter long, and when the cold weather finally broke, he left dead mice at our back door and although gross to clean up, we appreciated the thought and knew it was his gratitudeand acceptance of us that he was trying to express. "Those defenceless creatures" have far more defences than the poor cows we drag onto our killing floors. I have seen birds defend their nests quite adequately against cats -it is nature, and unlike when humans hunt, the weak prey are generally taken by cats, thereby strengthening the line. Please don't blame or shun kitty for doing what is her natural instinct to do. If her attempts at affections are making you want to "throw up", please find another home for her! Although I don't always "mesh" with all my kitties, I try to return their affections and accept them (remember they have no choice in the matter, they did not ask to be with you and they are simply trying to "get along" and they have the mind and emotions simuliar to a small child). It sounds like I would appreciate this cat I think, when you have as many as I do the last thing you want is for all of them to want to be all over you all the time. I have 2 ferals whom I do appreciate because they don't allow me to touch them! They hang out, kill mice and just mind their own business. I'm not sure if you feel as strongly as I am perceiving you to feel, but if the sight of her makes you sick, and you don't think you can warm up to her, she needs to be somewhere else. Make sure to check her BM's as well and that her intestinal system is functioning properly. If she has difficulty going it could cause mega colon which is really expensive to fix if it leads to surgery.