Jonh, if jokes not concerning flat tires aren't welcome or you think this is
otherwise out of line, please delete instead of posting. Thanks! Teresa (in
Virginia)



A woman brought a very limp duck in to a veterinary surgeon.
As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and
listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two the vet shook his head
sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, your duck Cuddles has passed away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied.

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any
testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, left the room and returned a few
moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked
on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the
examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked
at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later
with a cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at
the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its
head, meowed softly, and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is
most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and
produced a bill which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in
shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is
dead!"

The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill
would have only been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now
$150."