hi amber,

sorry, we've had the flu here at our house. all three kids at once-omg!!

anyway, sorry to hear of logan's struggles. my son has had his fair share lately as well. have you talked yet with your homeopath about his behavior? are there any other "new" behaviors.

you probably already do this, but i would suggest a journal-keeping track of any changes you notice. physical, emotional, social, cognitive. good to have on hand when you do visit your homeopath.

sounds like tough times at school. our situation is the opposite. he's doing well at school and acting out mostly at home!

let us know how it's going and hang in there!
kppy

Hi AmberE,
Sounds to me like you're doing exactly the right thing re: talking to Logan 'through' Snowy. I have read that when talking to boys on an emotional level and trying elicit information from them as to their problems etc, they need to be doing something else minor at the time as, unlike girls, they do not open up when directly confronted. Like, this is no big deal, you just keep playing with your lego, flip cards, doodling, "holding onto Snowy" etc while we have a little chat and you'll find they'll far more readily express themselves bit by bit (it can be very frustrating and time-consuming doing it this way but it must be done in an easy-going, no big deal atmosphere). Girls, on the other hand, when spoken to will appreciate being directly confronted, listened to and heard and may break down and pour out their heart to you. They will drop everything they are doing to talk but ask a boy to drop everything and talk face to face will usually only serve to make them clam up even tighter. Not sure if you know what I mean but I know from having had 2 boys and 2 girls that it works!
And yes, child therapists are extraordinarily expenesive and under normal circumstances I would never have been able to afford it, however, I did my University degree Work Practicuum at a Cancer Help Centre and instead of the requsite 160hrs, I voluntarily put in about 500hrs completing a research project for them. In return (2 yrs later), when I needed help (having discovered I had cancer myself), they provided the services of their child therapist for free (plus all my guided meditation, Reiki, Reflexology, Support group and Counselling services). I was lucky.
Try and and see if your local library has the book I mentioned above.
Love,
Fiona

__________________
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less travelled by,
and that has made all the difference.
(Robert Frost 1874 – 1963)

Fiona,

I am so glad to hear that I am on the right track with the way I am talking to Logan. I just do it this way because if not, we get the"frozen man". And at school, the teachers have either no desire or no time or a combo. of both to ask Logan how he feels or to give him a chance to vent his frustrations. To them, it is either right or wrong and they allow no explanation of feelings. I am going to look into some church groups and see if they have low cost or free counseling, and also maybe pick up some books and try to do it myself. Although, we all know therapy works best with someone objective. I have the book, and I am starting to go through it. Thanks again for your input. It is good to know that there are other people out there going through similar obstacles as we are.

AMber

I wrote an entire post but somehow when I hit the reply icon it disappeared into the ether.
I haven't the time to re-write it at the moment suffice to say that a book that helped me enormously was:

Main Title : Raising boys : why boys are different - and how to help them become happy and well-balanced men / Steve Biddulph ; illustrations by Paul Stanish.
Personal Author : Biddulph, Steve
Edition : 2nd ed.
Imprint : Sydney : Finch Publishing, c2003.
Collation : 188 p. : ill. ; 23cm.
Notes : Includes index.
Previous ed.: 1997.
ISBN : 1876451505
Subject : Boys -- Psychology
Child rearing
Parent and child

Once again, try your local library if you cannot afford it or find it there, alternatively try the used books selection at www.amazon.com.

Fiona

__________________
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less travelled by,
and that has made all the difference.
(Robert Frost 1874 – 1963)

P.S. Excuse my shocking, and hopefully not insulting question, but where is NC?
North Carolina??? New Caledonia???

__________________
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less travelled by,
and that has made all the difference.
(Robert Frost 1874 – 1963)

hello to mom
question....is the sulphur your son's constitutional remedy?
if yes there are many wonderfull homeopathic book on the sulphur persona
'the Homeopathic treatment of children,by paul herscu'
and 'Portraits of homeopathic medicines,by catherine coultier'.
two amazing in depth revelations on the 'sulphur child/adult'.
or try my article at
www.shirleys-wellness-cafe.com
searchbox;gina tylers articles (sulphur )

Another thing that will trigger a reversal in healing is the accidental slip in the diet of a child with such problems.
Or a extreme in emotional /mental trauma at school/home.

gina tyler

North Carolina. Such a big world, not a stupid question.

Thanks for the advice. It seems that sulphur is the right remedy, but we are fine tuning the timing in which to administer the dose. It seems after the dose he is doing well for three weeks, then he crashes that fourth week. So, we have decided to give him another dose before that dreaded fourth week happens. We are staying away from sugar and making sure he has plenty of protein in his diet. The last obstacle I feel is to adjust his curriculum at school. He is working below his academic level and we need to talk with the teacher to move him up. These are small obstacles in the grand scheme of things, but still very important. Most important is that Logan feels happy and safe in his surroundings, not frustrated and angry. Thanks again for your advice

Amber

At a workshop on Trauma given at my University last year a Clinical Psychologist, who has worked with children for the last 20 years particularly in a childrens hospital, noted that almost without exception the child had experienced some kind of trauma which preceded the ADHD behaviour. She also discussed how the developmental level of the child has a direct influence upon their capacity to understand. Any stressful event that violates a child's assumption and understanding of their world can be traumatic for the child and yet to an adult the event may appear harmless enough. Here she was talking about such things as bullying, divorce, storms and thunder, reprimand, feeling humiliated by a teacher or adult, violence on TV, medical treatment, witnessing severe parent distress and so on.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if research dollars were spent on trying to understand the emotional rather than the chemical imbalance in our children and to support those that care for them.

Leostar

leostar,

It is surprising to me that teachers, parents, counselors, are not more aware of a childs feelings and attitude. It is either right or wrong and then a punishment. Rarely does a child get a chance to explain his feelings or actions before receiving the consequence. I am not a passive parent, so if a child deliberatetly does something wrong, he should have consequences. But why not let a child express what led to that wrongdoing or draw a picture about it while in "time out" or "detention". I am meeting with my son's teachers to review his behaviour and go over some possible ways for her to better understand Logan. We are trying so hard at home and with such great progress, so I am challenging this teacher to try a slightly different approach when interacting with Logan. Afterall, a child who has been on this planet for only 6 years can not have figured out all the right things to do and exactly how to control every emotion that comes his way,(many adult cannot do that) he needs the help and guidance of a responsible adult. This is the challenge to people dealing with "ADHD" children. Can you extend yourselves beyond the "norm" to help these extremely intelligent and creative children better deal with their anger, fear, anxiety??? Let's see how my son's teacher will respond to this challenge.

Amber