I'm gald you started this one Debbie. I think there must be a limit to the space available for a thread. I'll post the URL for the old thread here so that anyone can just click on it and refer to it, while the old thread goes down.

This is Bettina's Famous Thread:
http://www.homeopathyhome.com/cgi-bi...c&f=2&t=004651


Warm regards,
doctorleela

[ 29 October 2001: Message edited by: doctorleela ]

__________________
http://www.homeopathy2health.com

Dear Divina,
dear Kescah,
dear Doctorleela,
Ladies and Gentlemen,

Kescah, thank you for starting a new thread and Doctorleela thank you for posting the link to the first one.

Yesterday on the other thread I posted a huge reply to Ricky's and Divina's post. Unfortunately both posts have disappeared.

May I in all politeness ask you, Divina, if possible to post your latest post again? Fortunately I saved my reply-post at home because I always type my posts in Word before adding them here (Word finds my spelling mistakes ...).

Today I can tell you that I am well again. I even exercised on my Health Rider for 30 minutes this morning, interrupted only by a few breaks due to lack of strength towards the end of the 30 minutes. I feel very good now.

There will be much more information this evening when I will re-post my lost yesterday's post.
Right now I will e-mail to Shirley to let her know where to look for us.

Bettina

Hi Bettina

Please start from here with your comments on your progress. And we don't have your new email address anymore either, unless you put it in your profile.

[Note from Admin - we seem to have reached the limit of one topic!]

[ 29 October 2001: Message edited by: jonh ]

__________________
Kescah

Hi Bettina,

Yesterday, after writing that last post to you, I received a little notice from the BB that there was no more memory space available on the page. So I backtracked, copied the post, and sent it privately to you. From my end, the actual post never did show up on your thread. So I don't really have it anymore! However, you can cut and paste it from the personal message feature onto this thread.

So good to hear that you are feeling much better.

It has occured to me that women carry quite a lot of self-loathing as a result of cultural conditioning (let's face it, it is truly not a "woman-friendly" world). Women very much hate their menses and feel horrified by them, or ashamed of having a period...especially if they are employed outside of the home--there, menstrual cramps really "throw a spanner in the works" of the nice, neat, "work, work, work" ethic, which doesn't acknowledge the existence of this cycle and the need to accomodate women because of it (that's a pretty big denial, when you consider that 53% of the population of the world is female, so the majority of the world menstruates). The truth is that the menstrual cycle truly connects us to each other, to the earth, and to the universe--and it is the source of all that is creative. It is nothing to make apologies for, or feel ashamed about, or hate. It is the body renewing itself: when women begin to embrace that truth, they often find that menstrual pain and difficulty becomes easier to deal with. It is a source of our strength as human beings, and in particular, women; it is not a sign of "weakness" as we are often made to feel. I write this because this sentiment really struck me in your posts, Bettina: ultimately, it would make me very happy if I were your practitioner to know that you felt empowered enough to accept this and know this about yourself--and never feel as though you must apologize for it. I know this will be the outcome for you as you regain your health, too.

Divina

__________________
...and deliverance has many faces<br />but grace<br />is an aquaintance of mine

Ladies and Gentlemen,

here is Divina's post which I had seen yesterday and to which I had typed a reply which I will also repeat here because it got lost on the other thread along with Divina's post. The paragraphs may have changed because when I pasted this into the word document a lot of empty spaces showed up which I removed and it was hard for me to see where there should have been spaces for paragraphs.


"Hi Bettina,

I agree with Lisa here--I think its dangerous to take iron supplements. If you are anaemic, your homeopathic remedy will address this issue during your treatment. Getting your nutrients from your food is the best method for nourishing the body--taking a supplement of something which tends to cause a lot of problems is just not a good idea--and my sense is that if you ate a pretty much well-supplied diet in the past (with lots of protein sources that included meat, and lots of grains) you are probably not suffering from anemia. I know the Drs. Eades recommend supplementing your diet with B vitamins, just in case there is a potential for pernicious anaemia (vegans can suffer from this), so if you are taking these supplements while you undergo the most rigorous aspect of their diet, you should be getting all the required nutrients to function well.

Mostly what you need is REST!! So I am glad you are taking some time for yourself. Maybe you don't see this for yourself, but reading over your posts I can see that there has been a great deal of emotional activity going on in your life--plus the demands and stresses of work and family pressures--and even your travelling plans included a lot of activity and "effort". All these things have an effect on menstrual cycles (for example, being a couple of days late for a period is not unusual when travelling, or when the normal routine is altered)--and certainly great distress over the possibility of being pregnant can have the same result. Your recent posts describe a great deal of pressure to perform at work--which you met with unabated professionalism, despite the discomfort/inconvenience of heavy bleeding and severe pain. You really push yourself and push yourself. I'm not surprised you feel a little exhausted!

Personally, whenever I felt as you did in the past, I simply told people I worked with that I was in pain and going home. Things were so bad for me that it was impossible for me to continue to "perform" anyway. People always understood and they always found some way to "cover" for me for that day--and I realized that no one was so expendable that they needed to work through great pain or sickness at any cost. After all, I "picked up the slack" whenever others called in sick or could not carry out their work--so I learned that I was entitled to what I needed to do. So, whenever this happened to me (usually every period!), I went home, looked after my needs, and returned a far more capable employee as soon as I could.

Which brings me to another point, and please understand that I bring this up only because I believe it is relevant to your case: Throughout your posts, I see that you put yourself down or do not feel as though you are worthy to be entitled to such things as "time off" when you are sick...because you don't like what others may think about you (in your earlier post, you didn't want your co-workers to criticize you for weak or sickly because you are a woman, even though you needed to be home resting). You often describe yourself unforgivingly (you are
very self-critical when you deviate from your diet a little bit--or, most recently, in your new email address' description, where you say your email name is "stupid"). It has been consistent throughout your posts--and it stands out because what we all see is a very brave woman, who is strong and determined, productive and very loving of everyone around--yet holds herself to an extremely high standard she doesn't believe she can meet.

For me, this seems striking and very revealing of something in your case. Anyway, I wish you could see what we see. Perhaps it is only a matter of time, and of letting the remedy do its work.

Divina"

Now this is my yesterday's reply (today I added a '(Saturday)' and a '(Sunday)' to make it easier to keep the time line and reworded a few sentences):


"Dear Kescah,
dear Lisa,
dear Ricky,
dear Divina,
Ladies and Gentlemen,

Ricky, thank you very much for describing the test, definitely I am not anemic, the color returns at once on all my fingers. To be 100 per cent sure I even tested my friend and we compared coloring speeds and fingers. His fingers contain more rose color to begin with but the changes to white and back to the start happen equally fast.

Yesterday evening (Saturday) I lost a lot more blood but that ceased during the late evening and I had a very good night. There was only very little pain and I stayed away from the Ibuprofen. Now I am a little hesitating to write everything is fine - I wrote something like this two times before and both times it did not last. Anyway, during the day I was fine and at the moment I am, too. There still is a little blood, very little.

Divina, your post made me think hard. Yes, I am self-critical and I am not at all contend with myself. I believe I have reason to be self-critical. There are some qualities about me which I like but there are a lot that I do not like, honestly do not like, and I do my best to describe them objectively to give you a picture of myself. I do not want to be perfect but I would like to be more normal in many ways. I feel I am not normal. I would like to do important things at once and not postpone them to be done in the very last second when it is almost too late. I would like to be a tidy person living in a neat and tidy household. I would like to be more diligent. I would like to exercise more and be less lazy and to loose weight faster by keeping the diet more strictly.

At the moment I even more feel I must put all possible effort, for example into the diet, because so many people are so generously investing so much time and thought into me and I do not want to disappoint them. So when I fail I am really angry about myself. I want to do the very best possible and every time I wander off in the wrong direction I am disappointed (unfortunately only afterwards) that I did. I wish I would not wander off - for example today (Sunday) we were invited to have lunch at my friend's mother's house and again I gave in to the temptation of vanilla ice-cream with hot sugary raspberry sauce on top. They did not pressure me, it was my decision. Even worse, they kept telling me they could see that I lost weight and there I was eating sugar containing foods. WHY??? Is this not objectively idiotic also in your eyes???

And yes, a little bit I find it hard to mention the times that I received praise for things that I did that were good. For example I have a friend (women) who keeps telling me that a few weeks ago I saved her relationship with her friend and it does make me happy that she feels this way. But when she told me I had saved it I replied it was not me but her and I believe this. What I did was when she called me in despair because she did not know what to do I suggested her to re-read a book written by Dale Carnegy before jumping to any fast and final decisions. She did re-read and not I but she herself saved the situation then. I never tell people what they should do - how could I? I always try to make them see the different possibilities that I feel are there. This is the part of myself that I like. I think I have some ability to listen to people who are in emotional trouble and to calm them a little and make them stop being so very, very desperate and see different ways of finding solutions. But when I do I am very, very, very close to crying myself and this, again, I do not like about myself. I never asked people to come to me for comfort, it just happens.

And finally I would like to be able to express myself much better in English and I am not saying this for you to write to me that I am doing a good job. I am saying this because I mean it. I need one hundred words where you would need only a few.

I would not say that I hold myself to an "extremely high standard" and at the moment I even more wish that I could talk to you in my language so I could be sure that I would not offend you by what I am saying (or how I am saying it) and be understood. I am so very frightened that I might end like my mother. She is so ill, not only physically but also emotionally, I am afraid. If I do not change my situation drastically I fear I will be lost (lost meaning I will have to suffer a lot from different diseases like worn out joints, metabolic syndrome, etc.). In my eyes finally getting myself into a better condition is not a very high standard but a necessity.

Your post, Divina, and also other posts made me question myself if I really always typed the truth because you have such a high opinion of me. I re-read a lot of what I typed and it IS the truth, everything - except for my name which I altered a little bit because this is such a public place and I already in my first post wrote so many intimate facts about myself that I would not want everybody who knows me to know. Another aspect is that I also wrote very personal facts about for example my mother an my friend. I know my mother would not be delighted if the information could be traced back to her by some of our acquaintances and I feel it would not be fair of me. Believe me, this 'emergency lie' about my name already makes me feel very, very awkward and I very much hope that all of you will understand my motivation for this and not be too angry or disappointed. Now, that I have been here for some time, I know that it would have been better if I had given myself an alias name that would have been recognized as such right away. I have been deeply worrying about the name issue since I started receiving all the kind replies but did not know how to escape the trap that I set myself in. I feel I deceived you but still I cannot bring myself to give you my true name here because this would in the worst case (being that somebody whom I do not want to know all the innermost facts about me or my relatives and friends) not only affect me.

Never ever in my whole life have I given away so much (everything) about myself. And, like I said in the very beginning, coming here was my very last straw of hope that I found to cling to and I am more than happy that I did come here and was so open. Even if every contact with you stopped this very second I would continue to live on a much higher/better/happier level than half a year ago in June - thanks to all of you.

And yes, 'I wish I could see what you see'! I wrote all of this to be sure that you will not get an impression of me that does not correspond to the real me. I do not in any way want to question your professionality, dear Divina, in what you see. Do you think you understand what I am trying to say?

'Bettina'


One final, more practical remark: I am not taking any supplements whatsoever except my daily dose of 300 mg GLA contained in the Evening Primrose Oil capsules and a tablespoon of pea fiber on days that I feel that I had too little natural fiber. I am thinking of taking a capsule of salmon oil every once in a while because I somehow do not manage to cook and eat enough fish because I am not very fond of cooking fish, not very experienced in cooking fish and here in the middle of the country (having lived close to the sea before) I do not trust the fish available in the restaurants."


Another post will follow in reply to Divina's latest post and then the time-line will be restored.

Dear Divina,

you made me think again.

I have a long way to go if at the end of this way I will appreciate a period that feels like the one that I just went through.

I think I know why I so much hate the idea of missing work because of a period: My father more than once returned home in a very bad mood and complained about a female colleague who kept taking three days off because of her period. He then had to do her work, too, which made him angry. Also it caused him to come home even later than usually.

At the moment I even feel proud that I did not miss work last week, although I know that I did not do as good a job as I do without pain and blood. At least I was there and did my best. I, by the way, do not look down upon women who take days off because of a heavy period, I envy them. And every time I decide that I will do the same but I never do. When I left early on Friday I was almost at the end of my endurance ability and the headache scared me. I went through headaches that were so bad that I could not drive anymore and I wanted to make sure that I would be home if the headache grew that serious which fortunately it did not. So if I am in serious trouble I can care for myself and leave.

I want to say again that I do not want to attack or question your judgement, not at all, in my previous post. I just wanted to make sure that not a wrong picture of myself starts to build up on your and all the other ones' side of the Internet.

Aside from the emotional trouble that the 'name-issue' is causing me at the moment because I do not yet know how you will react I feel very well. There is no more pain and no more blood. Also there is no more sore throat and only very little sneezing once in a while. My internal temperature is much better regulated, only my feet got a little cold today but this is a fact that many colleagues complain about in our building. There is no basement below our offices, only a very thin carpet and the weather is quite cool already and I did not put on my warmer winter shoes yet. (I am looking forward to Wednesday, the forecast said there is going to be some wind and I like that a lot - it makes this area feel a little like my Northern German home.)

Bettina

[ 29 October 2001: Message edited by: Bettina ]

Hi Bettina,

I know that you've not heard of me previously, but after these last posts of yours, I am compelled to write you. I have kept up with your case from the beginning. What a wonderful, incredible woman you are! I know that you're not perfect. (Neither am I, but don't tell my husband!) I admire you so very much. Your tenacity will see you through to having your health restored. And, personally, if we were nearer each other geographically, I'd be so proud to be your friend. You are kind, giving, loving and gentle with everyone that you've ever written about. Please, be kind, giving, loving and gentle with yourself, also. We are all on a journey. Sometimes, the road is easy and smooth, sometimes not, but in the end it is how we made the trip that matters. I see you as making the trip with courage and determination. Do not be too harsh on yourself when you slip up be it in your diet or other aspects of your life. We all slip up. We all get angry and say or do things we would prefer not to have. But, through your posts, I can see that you are making every effort to become the person you choose to be rather than making excuses for yourself and never changing. I admire that so very much!

Regardless of your faults (and I feel that you've been very honest about what you feel are your shortcomings), you are a wonderful person. Don't ever forget how many people have come to respect and care for you because of YOU and the person you are.

Big, big hugs,

Lynn

P.S. English is my mother tongue. How I WOULD LOVE to be as articulate as you!

Dear Bettina,

I can't imagine anyone being remotely angry or upset that you didn't give your real name. That certainly is NOT an issue for me and I feel it is safe to say that no one else will be bothered by this, in the least, either.

So, please don't waste ANY energy worrying about this. (It is reasonable that one wouldn't want to post everything so publically under their real name. Quite understandable - and even moreso when you have described so much about you - and situations that involved other people and could possibly affect them).

As for your worry that you 'might disappoint' anyone here - or let us down.....that also isn't something you should spend any energy worrying about either.

Homeopaths are supposed to look at patients as people - without judgement. Only observe and assimilate the signs and symptoms that are present, so that one can come to a remedy selection in order to help them. Nothing else.

Of course, Homeopaths invest time, effort, energy, and hopefully a bit of heart and soul into a patient's case, but that is what they CHOOSE to do. They shouldn't be doing it with any expectations other than the patient trying their best to make reasonable changes based on sound advice (i.e. dietary changes, mode of living if it were harmful, etc).

And, it would be unreasonable for any of 'us' to expect that you would be perfect in your endeavour to lose weight, exercise perfectly everyday, or anything else. We're all human afterall - and we all have to change things for ourselves at OUR pace - when it is right for us.

So, keep on hanging in there - and remember this is something you do for you - not to please us in any way. Not for anyone else.

With all the changes you have made it appears you are making great strides.

Hang in there ,
Warmest regards,
Lisa

__________________
"The significance of a fact is measured by the capacity of the observer."
Carroll Dunham

Dear Lynn,
dear Lisa,

if you just heard a noise it was that of the heap of rocks and stones that rolled off my heart while I read your posts ...

Thank you.

Bettina

Bettina, Bettina.

Your post has made me sad. (Now don't go feeling guilty about that, I will be fine!) But I am sad that you take so much upon yourself emotionally. You have some physical features that upset you, and you have internalized that and feel worthless. However, what we see here is a person of great value and exceptional kindness. I'm sorry, but you cannot change our mind. We are seeing it from a healthier perspective.

The name: Well, Kescah is not my name either. On another post someone said that using an assumed name means that you are hiding or escaping. True! So what? I go by Kescah in these posts for my own reasons, and very few know what they are. I might burden you with it someday, since you are so giving and caring. My name is Debbie, but that's all the BB in general gets. You can hide all you want to.

Suppose you don't learn to rest and take care of yourself when needed- and you get very ill with something else. Is that really what your father wanted for his workmate? No. He just is not experienced with the situation personally and doesn't understand. However, if he gets really ill I suspect he takes off some time! Women have had to work much longer hours to have the same reputation as a man and get the same promotions. And many men have had to learn by being told so, that once you arrive at home, there is still work to be done. In the past they could sit down and read while the wife cooked and cleaned, and when women went to work, it took awhile for some men to "get it." Would your father want you bleeding all over the furniture at work and passing out on the elevator? I am sure he would not. He was just feeling cranky about the woman at work! :razz: Very normal for any of us who are affected by someone elses problems. But it really does affect us how our parents talk, doesn't it?

Many of us don't like to exercise. Ricky excluded!

You are much better than I on your diet. Your diet is a very difficult one, as anyone knows who has tried it (if they enjoy sweets or carbs.) Don't feel so bad about it if you occassionally treat yourself. It is probably good for you to do so! And we all have our little weaknesses and flaws like procrastinating. It's just part of our makeup to have flaws! Nobody on earth is better than you. (Especially if they think they are.) Idiotic is a very harsh word to use about yourself. You would do well to delete if from your English, which is excellent. You do not use too many words.

One day you will take a remedy that will help you not to cry so easily. And you will feel much better. I don't blame you for being so concerned about your health, but it will improve. The "real you" seems to be good enough for your friend, and you do trust his judgement, don't you? I think if you were to close your eyes and imagine yourself looking like you hope to after treatment, you will like yourself better on the inside as well. I think it is about that. Surely you see your good qualities, as they are abundant!

Have a nice day, and visualize the future you when you think about yourself. That is the real you anyway, the rest is just disease. (If you knew all about me you'd swallow hard!)

__________________
Kescah