We have a nine year old foster daughter. She's been with us for about three months. I don't have much history, so hope I can give enough info for assistance. She lived with both biological parents till about the age of five. She has two brothers, ten and seventeen. The ten year old is also in foster care but with another family. The seventeen year old is with mom. There's been a stepfather in the home for a couple of years, and this is partly why the kids are in foster care. The ten year old brother has been able to act out his abusive history, but our foster daughter keeps everything inside, although she had disclosed the abuse to a friend. This child is the saddest peson I have met. She has no sense of self, she tends to tell you what she thinks you want to hear, no matter how ridiculous. Most of the time she'd rather just shut down and not say anything, just shrug her shoulders or say "I forget." She has a great counselor, but progress is very slow. The biological dad has come back into the picture, although not reliably. He calls sometimes and was here last week, she saw him for the first time in years. She has not had any contact with mom since the first couple of weeks of being with us. Mom's rights have been terminated, although foster daughter doesn't know this yet.
She'll eat anything you give her. WE suspect some nutritional neglect. She's overweight and not very active.
She's very conforming and obedient. Not necessarily a postive thing in her.
She has no self esteem and can easily be swayed.
She has learning disabilities with borderline intellegence. In the 3rd grade at a 1st grade level.
She sleeps well.
Doesn't know how to be a child and have fun. Would rather hang out with adults, little children or animals (goats, dogs).
What I'm looking for is something that will allow her to open up, be herself, and enjoy being a child. I know there's no magic cure and that counseling is her main remedy. I just think there may be something to help her through this difficult time and difficult life history.
Any suggestions?
Machi

Dear MAriah,

That poor child, its realy sad that children have to suffer for no fault of theirs.

I would like some more info, if your able to detect deeper.

1.You say that she "Is the saddest child you've ever seen" could you explain that a little more?
2. Does she show an interest in anything at all? I mean hobbies, conversation topics, friends, you...
3. Is she able to express what is going on in her mind, and could you find out?
4. Do you have nay details about her birth history or how she was treated at home by her parents / brothers?

Thanks,
Doctorleela

[ 09 October 2001: Message edited by: doctorleela ]

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Doctorleela.

You say that she "Is the saddest child you've ever seen" could you explain that a little more?

She's in her own shell. Doesn't know how to enjoy life. When she first arrived I would describe her as clinically depressed. She'd sit with her head down and cry. She's come out of this over the last few months, but she'd rather sit and watch then get involved. If you question her about what's going on she'll either look at you terrified and shrug her shoulders or put her head and shoulder's down and go back into her shell.

2. Does she show an interest in anything at all? I mean hobbies, conversation topics, friends, you...

Doesn't seemed interested in any hobbies. Will play with the other kids in the home, but if any new kids come, even one's she knows, she'll retreat to her own world. Likes to ride bikes, swing, play with puppies, spend time with goats (they don't ask questions or expect anything). Doesn't seem much interested in movies, we don't get any commercial tv where we live. Can't read well enough to enjoy books. Recently got a stereo from her mom and goes to listen to music, but this really brings her down. Tries to avoid most topics of conversation. Will answer yes/no maybe tell you a little about her day or activities, but usually will tell you what she thinks you want to hear. Our dinner time is really a sharing of the day time, but she puts her head down and is solely in her food world. When we have rice, she'll go to great lengths to get that last kernal of rice. It's as though she's working on some minute deatail of a work of art. We suspect food was not readily available at home or that there was not enough to satisfy her hunger.
Friends at this point are the kids at home. She's in a different county and school from where she lived, so everyone is new. We live out in the country so she doesn't see her school mates after school. She seems to enjoy the kids at home, although her prefrence is often the younger ones 3 and 4 years old. There's also an 8 and 11 year old, and some other kids around her age in the area that come to play several times through the week.

3. Is she able to express what is going on in her mind, and could you find out?

No, not at all. We've been trying to get her to recognize the pictures in her mind when she goes from being fine to looking depressed. She once told us that on her way home from school she heard hammering (a neighbor is working on his home) and got scared that someone was going to come out of the woods and kill her with the hammer. We explain that that day she had this picture in her mind and was able to voice what she thought and felt. We try to get her to do the same at other times, but she has not been able to describe any other feelings or fears. She often says she misses her mom but can't tell you what image brought that onl
Back to the fear topic. She's very fearful. We have a pond and in the summer swim in it daily. She was very attracted to going swimming but then when we'd go she'd lock up and was afraid to move, even with several lifesaving devises on. She was afraid of snakes. We went to the ocean, she was afraid of sharks and whales. We go hiking, she's afraid of bears. When she first arrived at our home she was afraid of any bug she saw, that's faded some.
She's reported to us never seeeing andy children's movies, however, she's seen many terror movies.

4. Do you have nay details about her birth history or how she was treated at home by her parents / brothers?

I know nothing of her birth history. She wasn't treated too well at home. She reports getting "whipping" for misbehavior. Her mother reports the biological father as being abusive of mom, but their is some question about the reliability of this report. Step dad was physically and sexually abusive of her and her brother. There is a suspicion that the 17 year old brother may also have been abusive.

Hope all this helps. Any other questions?
Maria

Dear Machi

I have no homeopathic advice as I am just a student but I did want to let you know that my thoughts are with you and your foster child. This world is lucky to have special people like you in it who are willing to take on such challanges. God Bless you and this little girl.

Barb

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Man, do not pride yourself on your superiority to animals. For they are without sin and you in your greatness defile the earth by your appearance on it and leave traces of you foulness after you. Dostoyevsky

We're definitely working on your info Machi.

warm regards,
Docotrleela

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Machi,

I feel the same as Barb, thank you for being there for this child. I also want to say that you came to a wonderful place for assistance. Homeopathy is beautifully suited to help in a situation like this. Just carefully observe her - likes, dislikes, habits - and the generous homeopaths here will do their best, which is pretty impressive.

Contenta

I'm wondering about baryta Carb or Stram. Dr leela.

Very good suggestions Rochelle. I would like to rule out a Natrum or Mag group, but one would need more details. So lets see. I'm asking for more info, and she'll post it on too.

Warm regards,
doctorleela

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Maria,

I think I'll have a remedy for you in a couple of hours. The info above is quite good.

Warm rgards,
doctorleela

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Dear Maria,

I think you should give her a dose of Carcinocin 200 and lets wait a week and see what happens.

Keep us posted.

warm regards,
doctorleela

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