First I’d like to thank anyone who will kindly offer his or her advice and let everyone know that I would appreciate advice from everyone. I don’t even know where to begin. Deep breath – here goes.

I’ll start with the least important (to me) and latest symptoms. When I was pregnant with my youngest daughter (2 and a half years ago) I developed a brownish blotchy stain on my upper lip, it is still there and gets much darker from sun exposure. About 2 years ago I started getting chronic postnasal drip, I think this may have been after a cold but not sure. Every day I am constantly “drawing” clear mucous down from the nasal passages – in the morning it is thicker and more yellowish or whitish. Throughout the day it becomes thin, clear and has little bubbles (like spit). I feel like I can’t completely swallow and there is always stuff up in the nasal passage that needs to come out. I think this is worse after drinking cold pop – I don’t know if it is the pop or the cold that worsens it.

uAfter the birth of my oldest girl (5yrs ago) I started having very bad pain when I ovulate, this lasts for at least 3 days and can get really bad. The only time this doesn’t happen is when I am pregnant (obviously you don’t ovulate then). The pains are sharp – “festering” pains that seem to start on the left and then go to the entire abdominal area or to the right. They are much worse from jarring motion. Slightly better after using the bathroom (stool). These symptoms are not a big deal but are separate from the rest of the case in that every other symptom has been for much longer –

I get headaches at least 4-5 times per week. I can’t remember when they got this frequent but even as a youngster (11-12) I did get headaches after school, I did get glasses at this time for reading the blackboard or needing to see distances. The headaches are not always the same kind but most frequently are either right or left sided only and almost always in the occipital area. The pain travels from my trapezius muscle to neck to occiput to temple area. Sometimes it is a dull pain other times a sharp pain. When I get headaches I get crabby and just want to lie down. The only thing that truly ameliorates is Advil but hot applications feel good, as does cold fresh air. I know part of the reason for the headaches is hormonal and another part is muscle tension, especially of the trapezius and neck – I can feel hard knots develop under the skin. The headaches will also come on if I have a sugary dessert in the evening – the next morning I’ll wake with one. Sometimes I will get a headache where it is in the occipital area and the sinus area, but it definitely feels like my neck needs to be adjusted, like it is out of whack especially centered where the neck and head meet. My neck does crack a lot.

My body structure is out of whack. My spine is curved deeply in just above the sacral area and then my upper back is hunched over and my neck is pushed far forward (like a duck). My feet point outward when I walk – I have a large head. My shoulders are rounded forward. All these things were since I was young. I always look down when I walk. My muscles are always tense (unrelated to mental tension). They are in a chronic state of contraction – even my facial muscles that make me look like I am always squinting. When I try to stand or sit very straight I get very dizzy and like I can’t breathe right. I can remember being quite young in grade school and being at church being yelled at to kneel straight and I felt like I was gonna faint. I feel like my hamstrings and forearms are shortened. Obviously the constant muscle tension of my shoulder contributes to my headaches.

I get diarrhea almost every day. Usually in the morning but can be any other time too. I have been diagnosed with IBS (at age 16) and ulcerative colitis at age 20. I occasionally have mucous or blood in the stool (not often) but always seem to have diarrhea with the abdominal cramping and urgency and pain. I ALWAYS get diarrhea before ANY unusual event, including simple things like parent teacher conferences or doctor appts. or going to the movies or out to dinner. It is definitely worse from thinking about it. Upsetting or frightening news also causes diarrhea. As a teenager I would have bouts of diarrhea that would make me miss school but it didn’t seem related to nerves. I have been on steroids for this and other meds but nothing helped.

And now for the hard stuff – the mentals. I guess you could say I am a struggling agoraphobic. Whenever I go out, with a few exceptions, I get anxiety. Usually the anxiety is about having to rush to a bathroom somewhere but if that isn’t an issue than I get very anxious about fainting or having a heart attack. I obsess about this – it is all I ever think about. I never want to out and go anywhere. I would be very happy and content to stay in my home forever. I feel like it is just too much pressure to go do things. Some of this is based on the fact that when I do have to go somewhere I will be running to the bathroom a million times beforehand (the diarrhea is almost always worse before the event – anticipatory anxiety) with abdominal pain – why do I want to put myself through that? There is also a feeling of everyone’s good time is dependant on me and if I have a panic attack or need to leave I’ll be disappointing everyone – so I’d rather just not go. This all seemed to have started after one major panic attack I had at work one day 10 years ago and ever since then I’ve been an anxiety ridden person. The year before the attack at work was filled with grief and anger. I lost a very good friend to a brain tumor, an uncle to cancer, my father was hospitalized for 4 months and was supposed to die after being hit by a drunk driver while out jogging and then my mother got cancer. I think after all of that the anxiety attack was a sort of breakdown. It was very bad for awhile, I totally thought I was going crazy, felt like I had no control over anything in my life (control is still an issue here – if I am in total control of a situation I do much better), Was scared that if I could have an anxiety attack like that out of the blue then how do you know you can’t just one day go crazy and kill people or yourself – if I saw something on TV about schizophrenia, I would think that that is going to happen to me and totally obsess about it. These feelings faded many years ago. Those feelings I don’t have anymore. Now I just don’t want to leave my home. The anxiety is worse if anything is expected of me. I always have to have an escape plan. Whether that is driving my own car to an event or having an excuse available should I need to leave. Any situation that I feel trapped in I totally panic, this can be like being trapped in traffic or like being at the dentist. My fear of having to run to the bathroom or fear of fainting is really based on being embarrassed should anyone see it. The attention it would call to you. I have a lot of guilt over this because I avoid sooo many activities – like taking my kids to the zoo – because of it. When I am in an anxiety state like when we are driving to a relatives house for a family function I don't want to talk to anyone or be spoken to. Noises seem to loud and I just withdraw into myself. I also want to rush along and just go. I can't stand waiting for my husband if I am already ready to go I just want to leave immediately. I also don’t like letting people know about this – am hugely embarrassed to be posting this here especially in a place where I feel I have some credibility, but quite frankly this is my last hope – the next step is allopathic meds. No one really knows the extent of the problem.

Miscellaneous info: I have a lot of moles and cysts. I have a cyst on my head that has recently been getting infected with disgusting foul dirty white pus. As a teenager I sweat much more than normal and it would stain my blouse yellow. I have had one case of vaginal conylmolata. I have had mononucleosis 4 times as a teenager. After the first time I can remember not wanting to go back to school at all (sort of setting the stage for how I am today). I was born premature to an 18-year-old girl who was put in a home for unwed mothers, and given up for adoption. I weighed 4 lbs at birth and was allergic to milk so put on soy formula. I have had 2 head injuries from car accidents as a teenager. My left ankle occasionally cracks while walking up the stairs. I have lots of mercury fillings – had horrible teeth as a youngster – always needing a filling. I tend to have dry skin. I have a big addiction to pop – it is not just the caffeine but also the carbonation. I love sweets, fatty foods, and fast foods. I hate bitter or sour stuff, never drink alcohol, and don’t like spicy stuff. Change of the weather aggravates symptoms, as does humidity. I hate spiders. I have very low energy even though I get enough sleep. I have green eyes and brown hair and am average height and weight.

My friends and family would say I appear self confident (don’t feel so), intelligent, creative, funny, and pretty opinionated. I get passionate about things for awhile and then the interest fades, but when the interest is there I absorb myself in the interest. I love love love to read and need to at night before bed. I always have the TV on for background noise and enjoy talking on the telephone to friends or family. I am pretty smart and fairly well rounded except for business affairs – yuck. I am bad with finances or other business related issues. I enjoy cooking and like to “show off” in the kitchen. My husband says I am moody ( I don’t agree). I get intimidated by people of authority or who I feel have authority (some members of this board intimidate me.) I like helping people in need (as long as I don’t have to leave the house.) I love when people come to me for advice. I am a pretty good artist.

Previously tried remedies: arg nit 1m & 200c, Tubcm, phos200 and LM, Thuja200 (I did become more organized after the thuja for a bit) Nat Mur 200(terrible chest , heart pains), MercLM( bloody diarrhea), Gels200c, Lyc1m

I have had for acutes, arg nit, gels, ferr phos, acon, hepar sulp

I should mention again that I am adopted so although there is a family history of cancer there is no physical relation and I have no info on my birth parents.
Please ask questions as I am sure I left stuff out and thank you.

__________________
Man, do not pride yourself on your superiority to animals. For they are without sin and you in your greatness defile the earth by your appearance on it and leave traces of you foulness after you. Dostoyevsky

You did a very good job of describing yourself. I think a calcarea salt, whether calc carb, calc phos, or calc sil will be a close fit, but I'll be interested in others' suggestions.

To distinguish between the above, you may want to include:

How you felt about social events prior to the panic attacks--

How you felt in the past (pre-panic attacks) about travel--

How you feel about smoked meats, sausage, pepperoni, bacon, ham, hot dogs, etc.--

Whether you were ever a 'whiney, clingy' child--

Whether you were ever bothered by growing pains--

Whether acne was ever a problem in the past--

If you've ever had any unusual dreams, including dreams of deceased friends or relatives--

How you've felt prior to an exam or public speaking--

Your 'work style'--

Other fears--

Best of luck--there is a good remedy waiting for you.

Dear Barb,

Whew! My head is spinning! I, too, saw calcarea in your case; I also see Nat-sulph as a "never well since" head injury, and since I see it as a major sycotic miasm remedy, and I see a lot of sycosis in your case, I'm thinking very strongly about nat-sulph.

I'm also thinking about Kali arsenicum as the major agoraphobia/fear of heart attack remedy.

I also thought of carcinosin because it is indicated where there is a multiplicity of symptoms, a multiplicity of etiologies, and where you can see several remedy images in the same person. Plus, there's the fear of authority figures that carc. has and it is a remedy that can easily be confused with phos., which is another remedy I see in you--you describe yourself as throwing yourself into projects but your energy and enthusiasm are quickly diverted to something else--a typical phos trait, along with the desire for sodas and the anxiety.

In short, we have our work cut out for us!

I'm glad you posted your case, you've been suffering so long with so many severe symptoms! And all you've been thinking about is helping others, and never a thought
for yourself! I certainly hope one of us can help you.

You might let us know, of all the things you mentioned, what is bothering you the most right now, and what, if you could get rid of it first, would not only give you the proverbial whole new lease on life, but would, if it could be fished out, drag the most "attachments" along with it? In other words, here's an example: "Well, if I got rid of the diarrhea, I wouldn't have to worry about running to the bathroom in public, and if I didn't have that worry, I'd probably be able to leave the house, and if I were able to leave the house...." You get the idea?

OK, try and get a good night's sleep and pleasant dreams!

Talk to ya later,

Snoopy

Barb, it's really great that you have put your case here and I'm sure you will find help. It may not be pertinent but at what age did you become aware of being an adopted child? How did that affect you? Were there other children in the home? What was your relationship with your adoptive parents? Have you ever wanted to or tried to contact your birth parents?

You mentioned you don't like spicy foods but do you use black pepper at all? It is said to be one of the worst things for colitis. I have suggested for other cases of colitis the mega doses of Vit C, live yogurt and homemade applesauce (pectin). I think people laugh at that but someone in my family had colitis so badly he was scheduled for colostomy surgery, after a year of steriod treatment that was completely unsuccessful. He ate nothing for 3 days but applesauce and yogurt along with time released Vit C. The bleeding and diarrhea stopped almost immediately. He slowly introduced bland foods and soon was back on a completely regular diet. But never again used black pepper! It has been over 20 years now and he eats anything and everything with no problems. A friend who tried it was helped so that she actually enjoyed a business dinner (she had to speak at the dinners and it was pure agony for her) for the first time during all her years at the job. I have used that method many more times over the years for people and animals with good results. I know it isn't homeopathy and doesn't address all your complaints but it might be worth trying until your case is sorted out. All the best, Barb.

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Sometimes on Earth, you can find something that resembles a little piece of Heaven. And sometimes on Earth, a little piece of Heaven can find you.

Well, I sat down here to answer all the questions and now the baby is crying so it'll have to wait.

Thanks so far everyone.

DavidJK and Dr. Bhatia, you both were so very kind in the past to look at my case privately I was hoping you could take a peek here again - it truly is appreciated, I can't begin to say how much.

Snoopy and everyone else, I don't know if it matters but I have always been drawn to calc carb and carc (though the personality of carc doesn't seem to work, but I still always go back to it.) This isn't based on knowledge of the remedies, I just have good feelings about them both.

I'll post more later to answer the questions

__________________
Man, do not pride yourself on your superiority to animals. For they are without sin and you in your greatness defile the earth by your appearance on it and leave traces of you foulness after you. Dostoyevsky

Hi Barb!

Well done, to post your case here (I know that sounds ironic, coming from me, but you know I'm saying it because it is the step you're taking that should be congratulated here). I'm just going to throw a couple of ideas at you, which you can pursue, as I still don't feel good about prescribing for a chronic case here. I do want to stress, however, that you can very effectively be cured by homeopathy--so please don't feel that you need to run to allopathy at any point. This is simply a matter of finding your correct remedy...it hasn't been done yet, but that doesn't mean it can't be found.

Two remedies came to mind for me: the first, based on what you said about a particularly forceful symptom which gets worse after ovulation. There aren't many remedies with this modality that look so close to carcinosin (that could be a possibility for you, too...however this remedy shares many symptoms with carc, and can often share the mental state as well). The remedy I'm thinking about is folliculinum. It will never repertorize out, and that must be the reason why it has been overlooked in your case. But here is a link to Melissa Assilem's article on the substance. Don't worry so much about the "mental state" described: in reality it can be very fearful, perfectionistic, and often distracted...like I said, a lot like carc, and phos too. Take a look:
http://www.homeopathyhome.com/refere...s/follic.shtml

You'll also find a good materia medica entry in Vermeullen's Synoptic Materia Medica, Volume 2 I believe. Things getting worse after ovulation indicate folliculinum; particularly with the health history you describe (4 bouts of mono?).

Something else which came to mind, given your symptoms, the great anxieties and fears you describe, and your personal history are the magnesium remedies. I thought about mag phos specifically, but it could just as easily be one of the other remedies, like mag carb or mag sulf. It is best to use Scholten's method here, as again, repertorization will not lead you to consider these remedies. Magnesium remedies, according to Kent's observations, were remedies which proved very effective in treating the complaints of "orphans" at an orphanage where he concentrated some of his efforts...and personally, I'm amazed at how often this still seems to apply (2 patients of my own have responded extremely well to mag remedies--incidentally, both are "orphans", and one was actually raised in an "orphanage"). Not that it should be used exclusively because of this--but certainly the IBS, the muscular pains and spasms you describe, the headaches and anxieties you detail all fit into the magnesium picture. I don't have a copy of Scholten I can refer to, so I'm hoping David JK will help out here.

Good luck Barb, and happy reading,

Divina

__________________
...and deliverance has many faces<br />but grace<br />is an aquaintance of mine

Hi Barb,

With so many symptoms and states, there are going to be many ways to approach your case.
We could say, Let's treat the last thing that happened first--the stain on the lip from pregnancy and childbirth--and work our way back as per Hering's Law. We could say, let's find the Core Delusion and prescribe on that. We could say, Let's prescribe on the most strange, rare and peculiar symptom in the case, or we could base our first remedy on the condition that's most life-threatening, or the condition that seems to be consuming all your time, energy and attention, or we could prescribe your "constitutional remedy"--which some would call your personality, and others would call your healthy state: you, without all the pathological add-ons, or finally, we could prescribe on very clear keynotes and on clear etiologies.

So, I think there will be a lot of opinions expressed here, and there's so much complexity, I don't expect that there will be much agreement; but maybe we will all agree that LM's would be the best potency for you; one reason being that they work so quickly, you should be able to tell within just a few days, based on a greater sense of well-being, whether you've chosen the correct remedy, and if not, you can simply move on to the next one.

In terms of starting with the last thing that happened, I find that the blotch on the lip which gets darker in the sun is a Sepia phenomenon. I believe its called "chloasma", but my Yasgur's Dictionary has fallen behind the sofa and will probably never be seen or heard from again.

The pain during ovulation repertorized out to Lil-t.

To me, the strange rare and peculiar in the case is the many symptoms/many states, for which Carc. is a 3. (Murphy's rep., Disease chapter, Symptoms and states, many.)

In the Bones chapter, curvature of bones, Calc, of course is there as a 3, and we do see other calc features in the case; but you said you don't see carc. symptoms in you--the sense of over-responsibility that you have--"everyone depends on me, I take care of so many people"--this is a carc. trait, as well as a calc trait (Mind: responsibility, burdened with at too young an age-Calc(2), Carc(2) (only remedies). Over-responsible-Calc(3), Carc(2). Responsibility, unusual agg.-calc(2), carc(2). So, there they are, right there together. Your statement that you'd be happy to stay in your home forever--very calcarea. Home and family is what they live for.

Having a lot of moles is very carcinosin.

"I don't like letting people know about this"--calcarea.

"Had mono 4 times"--carc.

Fear of spiders-calc. Fear of insanity-calc.

I have to stop for now, there's so much more to sift through, however. We can't ignore nat-sulph--both an ulcerative colitis remedy and a never well since head injury remedy. More to come later.

Snoopy

How about Barb just tells what it is that is presenting in her now - and go with that? So, if some symptom in the past isn't there - ignore while repping the case BUT look to see if it is covered in the handful of remedies that are highest after repping.

I though your suggestion, Snoopy - for Barb to say what it is she wants to be rid of (i.e. her presenting and most troublesome complaints) was a very wise suggestion.

All the best to you, Barb .
Hang in there - and I understand how you feel posting your case publically .

__________________
"The significance of a fact is measured by the capacity of the observer."
Carroll Dunham

to answer snoopy;'s question first. I am not sure which symptom I would like to see go first. When the diarrhea is severe and acting up it would be that, when I have had 5 days in a row with horrible headaches where I don't even want to read to my kids I think "well if I could get rid of the headaches I might not want to leave the house but at least I'd be a good mom in the home." But I think really it is the fear and anxiety with going out because the anxiety causes diarrhea and I have soo much guilt about it. It is pretty irrational - for instance if I had no anxiety about going to the zoo, well even if I had and IBS flareup - big deal, just use the bathroom. But I don't think that way - it would be a huge deal if I did have to use the washroom - I don't know why. Definately the mentals are the worst. I feel soo guilty about restricting my kids lives because of my issues.

To answer Lisa post, pretty much everything I posted is current. The headaches, ovulation pain, diarrhea and agoraphobia.

To Dave johnson - as a kid (up until about age 12) I was very outgoing and bubbly. I was popular in school and all my friends would come to me for advice. I was idealistic and felt very secure and like I could change the world. After the first bout of mono I definately became more withdrawn and shy (I don't know if this was totally related to mono, during this time I also had my first experience with death and my best friend moved away.) I would make excuses to not do certain things - like go to a sleepover party, but for the most part I did enjoy social situations and travelling, but my "lust for life" was dulled.

As far as my feelings about being an "orphan" I don't know what I feel about it. Groing up I had a sense of appreciation for my birth mother, after having children I feel sorry for the baby I was - I was a premie and so alone in the hospital for about a month before having a family - My parents and I have a good relationship. My dad is kinda odd but my mom and I are very close and were when I was little. The worst punishment I could ever recieve was if my mom said she was dissapointed in me. That would make me feel horrible. I do have a sister who is adopted too. I do have my birth mothers name and address but haven't contacted her and on't know if I ever will, perhaps someday.

I am very disorganized - kind of a slob. I occassionaly get what feel like mini gallbladder attacks after eating fatty meals. I am very routine oriented and do nothing spontaneously. My kids are everything to me and I even feel a horrible pressure just to exist, if something happened to me what would become of my kids - they need me.

I never had acne, did have growing pains in my legs at night, I also grew pretty quick, was my full height at age 12. I always would get anxious before an exam and always thought I failed it (usually got A's). Have had strange dreams in the past, not of dead relatives but friends. I like smoked meats but don't crave them. I really only crave pop. Was not a whiny child.

I'm gonna give an example - today my daughter had her dentist appt. I wasn't even taking her, my husband was - and I was in the bathroom 6 times before they left for the appt. Ridiculous

Ooh - I also constantly grind my teeth and crack my jaw from side to side. I do this all the time and chew off peices of my inner cheeks too.

[ 05 June 2001: Message edited by: Barb ]
:razz:

[ 05 June 2001: Message edited by: Barb ]

__________________
Man, do not pride yourself on your superiority to animals. For they are without sin and you in your greatness defile the earth by your appearance on it and leave traces of you foulness after you. Dostoyevsky

I agree that there is lots going for carc here.I have cured many a case of panic attacks with this remedy. It is a specific for Never Been Well Since Mono. I have also cured panic attacks with Foll. Here I wold expect to see some connection with the contraceptive pill. Have you ever been on it and how did you react?

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RSHom - Registered Homeopath