Si, si Divina, there is no question that hubby wants me to take responsiblity for his life. (Control and blame are the keywords here but I don't want to get ahead of my "homework".) I have been giving the guy a run for his money for some time now and I think you are on target. His legendary rigidity may be stressed to the breaking point. What tends to happen is that then he gets sicker. Why? The stress? Well yes, but more to the point, it's a desperate attempt to manipulate me. It took me years to learn that and it speaks to your theory. We all do it I guess. Me too, I have a rare disorder and it took me about a decade of work to stop identifying with it. The problem is that not everyone is motivated to do the work.

Nb. nope, he's Jewish and let's be nice about Italian men, they get stereotyped all over the place!

I do have the Myss book, in fact I'm making my way through her Energy Anatomy tapes - great stuff.

ciao, Contenta

Hi Contenta,

I am glad to see you're already "on it"! You are correct, not everybody does this work--but then again, not everybody knows that they have options to exercise, or knows about homeopathy, or any other kind of "alternative" truth beside the one they are led to believe is "reality" or status quo.

If it makes you feel any better, this is a struggle all good marriage/relationships have to contend with, at one time or another. Some couples endure because they learn to be much more empathetic of each other as people, and clearly respond to a need to acknowledge the other with respect and love. Others just don't--and those are the ones which end (or worse, continue on meaninglessly for both partners).

...err..as for Italian men, it is true, they are stereotyped all over the place, but I'm not thinking about that--I'm thinking about a common denominator that goes beyond stereotype into cultural reality...but I have met 2 exceptions in my life, (they were in Italy, where things are very different--the stereotypes really only "apply" [not really] here in NA) so I guess you have a point....I'll be nice...

Anyway, you have some work to do! So I hope things will resolve in the best way possible for you. By the way, how does an artist have time to create when all her time is organized on someone else's schedule?

Divina