All,

I am sorry if this is too long but I need some help with my 4 ½ (he will be 5 in March) year old son. He is having problems in school. Matthew has been going to Montessori school since he was 2 1/2. His teachers are concerned that he isn’t reading and he is having problems with word retrieval. He seems to have an above average/average word knowledge (word fluency). He is just having problems with his expression. We volunteered to be part of a study that they are conducting at his school before we knew about this problem. The Dr conducting the study is reading brain waves on EEG and giving the children certain tests to determine their word fluency, word retrieval. The study will follow the children for 4 years and track their reading and math accomplishments back to the original and subsequent test findings. In her testing with Matthew she had determined that he has problems with word retrieval. He can name colors and large objects. If she shows him a card with pictures of numerous objects on it (for example, a card with a picture of an apple, an orange, a banana and strawberry). If she asks him to show her the strawberry he can do it within the normal time frame. If she points to the strawberry and asks him what it is he either can’t find the word fast enough or gets frustrated and tells her he doesn’t know. He does the same if she shows him flashcards with letters on it If I work with him on letters I find that if he can’t or won’t name it by looking at it, if I name it he can give me the sound. She said unless he makes this connection in his brain to do the word retrieval he will have problems learning to read. Her largest concerning is when he feels he is failing he shuts himself off and appears to give up. She has said we need to build his trust in her ability to help him. He has agreed to participate if I am with him when she tests him. She will try to help develop a special set of lessons for the school to give him to help. She said the early you catch this a intervene the less problems he will have in the future.

Constitutionally, I have had one homeopath tell me he was a pulsitilla and one tell me he is a calc carb. He is a quiet shy child. Very shy and reserved with people he doesn’t know, especially adults. However, when he is angry he holds on to it and is very stubborn and sensitive . When he started in the Montessori school he was in the toddler program. After the first year during the summer they moved him to the primary classroom (3-6 year olds). This is the norm. His school doesn’t run the toddler program over the summer, so they move the toddlers up to the primary class in the summer in preparation for the start of the school year in September. They moved him back down the toddler room in September because he was not potty trained. He very angry about this. Although moving back to the primary class was enough incentive that we were able to get him potty trained in less than 2 months. But to this day more than a year latter he will not talk to the teacher from the toddler room. I think he blames her and he is still angry.

He is thin, fair skinned with blonde hair and blue eyes. He has a very outgoing 7 year old sister. She did all his talking for him so he talked late. She still tries to answer for him when questions are addressed to him. His birth was normal. He had severe reflux as a baby that cleared by the time he was one. He walked at 9 ½ months. He likes starchy foods and sweets. He also likes fruits, some veggies and yogurt. He is not a big meat eater. He drinks a lot of cold liquids. He has a good memory, he remembers events and details from when he was small. He also takes Karate and is able to repeat movements he is taught after only being shown once. He is focused and can sit and work independently on things he is interested in. He builds elaborate tracks with his wooden trains and does children’s computer programs with no instruction. He is very open and affectionate with me and the rest of our family. He also still sucks his thumb.

If anyone has any input to remedies I can investigate that might help him I would appreciate it. If anyone would like more info, please post any questions. Thanks,

SAM

SAM

A lot of your son's behaviour points to Natrum Mur. Has he had any big losses or grief in his young life?
Any surgery?

Also, please go to GM's website questionnaire to see what kind of info is needed in addition to what you have told.
http://members.home.net/franske/Questionaire.html

Anita,

It is funny you should mention Nat Mur because I was thinking of that last night.

My father died when he was 2. My parents lived about 3 hours from us at the time so Matthew didn't see my father daily although they had a bond. I also went to see my father on weekends the last few months of his life. He had stomach cancer and suffered a stroke 3 months before he died. Matthew always got sick, ear infections, when I was gone. The ear infections cleared after my father died and I stopped making these trips. I will check out GM's questionaire. It has been awhile since I have been on BB and was not aware of it. Thanks so much for your reply.

SAM

[This message has been edited by sam0201 (edited 01 December 2000).]

Hi

I'm not a homeopath, just a mother of a shy child who is also a thumb sucker.

Maybe your son is just refusing to answer, because he feels he is put in a spot. I know my 3.5 yr daughter (b'day in march) will make mistakes, refuse to answers etc if I sit with her and try to teach her anything, but if it is part of a play routine (teaching her dolly, reading the alphabets in the story book, before I read the word ...) she has absolutely no problem. Once I gave her a card and asked her to copy a short b'day greeting which I wrote and showed, she did it in a jiffy, but if I ask her to write her letters, she'll fuss, say she doesn't know ...

Since he is shy, maybe he is feeling insecure when doing the test since he is in the limelight.

Maybe he does have a problem, but look at it from a different perspective and see if the problem is different. If there is a problem I'm sure you'll get a lot of help here

all the best
Sarah

Sarah,

Thanks for your input. I thought that the shyness and being put on the spot might be part of the problem too. That is why I am glad she offered me the opportunity to go with him the next time. She works with him during the normal school day while I am at work. I think if I can watch I will be able judge what is going on with him. Who knows a little one better than his mommy. Except sometimes mommy is too close to be objective no matter how hard I try.

My first experience with homeopathy was over 2 years ago when my daughter was having problems in kindergarten. It was an entirely different problem. Her academics were far ahead of her age but she had maturity and control issues. I was lucky and the homeopath hit on the right remedy for her at that time. And what a difference the remedy made, the teacher couldn't believe it. It made a believer out of me and I have been committed to homeopathy ever since. I am going to try work with the school and the dr as closely as I can. But I think that there is a remedy out there that can support this process. Thanks again for your help.

SAM

Some more info-

He is a very warm blooded person. Rarely cold. Hates to wear gloves and his winter coat when it’s cold. Doesn’t like his jackets closed all the way up against his neck. He has 2 freckles or birthmarks one on his stomach near his belly button and one between 2 of his toes. His toenails a thin but not his fingernails. Has a inconsistent fear of the dark. He had a nightmare about ghosts and mummys 2 nights ago. Nightmares are very uncommon for him I can’t remember the last one. I think he is more afraid of things or people that are unfamiliar rather than anything specific. His favorite colors alternate between orange, yellow, green and red. When he is sick he likes to be comforted and cuddled. As a baby he liked to be carried when sick. As a toddler he liked to be rocked in the rocking chair. Won’t go to bed with out his bedtime routine, one story and 3 songs – he will let me or his daddy do it though. He is basically a happy, cooperative, sweet sensitive little boy. Unless he decides to be stubborn, he can usually be reasoned with.

He is even tempered throughout the day if he is allowed to sleep until he wakes up. If we have to wake him up on a school morning he is grumpy until he has his breakfast. He moves pretty slowly in the morning and can not be rushed.

Illnesses include:
At birth – all of the umbilical cord didn’t fall off. The doctor had to tie it off a second time to make it fall off.
Reflux – until he was one
Numerous ear infections for a 6 month period before he turned 2
He used to breathe heavy like he congested and he snored until the homeopath gave him ferr phos 3x for 3 week period and that cleared up.
I am told he has large tonsils although he has no trouble with them.
He had the usual round of vaccinations required in the US before age 1 – DPT, MMR, polio injection(not the live oral vaccine). He has not had the 3 to 5 year old boosters.
No operations. He was not circumcised. He was born with what the doctors called a natural circumcision. Which is basically less foreskin than usual and there was even less medical reason to perform the procedure than there typically would be.

That is all I can think of for now. Any questions please let me know. Thanks,

SAM

Hi Sam. My son just turned 8 today. He was shy too. That's changing...

Anyways I'm not an expert just a mom. But when my son was in kindergarten there was some fuss about him having problems and he also had a speech problem. Then last year there was a bigger fuss and school meetings and everyone thought he had a learning disability. It was a rough year. Well this year every thing is just fine. His grades are excellent. His speech problem is almost completely gone and his shyness is leaving. I honestly think he was being pushed too soon and he just needed some time...his timetable...not theirs.

I also put him in Tai Kwon Do and I am amazed at what this has done for his focus and self confidence. If I ever made one great choice for him...that was the one.

Just wanting to offer words of encouragement. Your son may have some problems and then again he just may need time.

Dessie,

Thanks for the encouragement. I need it. Is sounds as if you have been in similiar situation and understand. The school is making a big fuss about it. Mostly because they say he hasn't been cooperating with them and they aren't sure how to help him. He was just refusing to do the work. That has changed some over the 3 weeks (since my Parent teacher conference. I think Matthew thought it was a option to do the lessons. But he now understands that he needs to follow the teachers instructions in order to learn and move up into the Enrichment program in March when he is 5. Since the montessori class has the mixed age group (3 to 6 years old)he has older friends in his classroom that are in Enrichment and Kindergarten already and he feels left out. I have seen a lot more work come home and he willingly wrote his name the other night without my asking him. The 'W' was upsidedown but he will learn that. He really wants to learn how to read. Although the school is fussing about it, which I believe is only because they care, they are being very supportive. They are willing to work with the doctor doing the research to develop special lessons to help get through this. I just want to do all I can too.

I am glad to hear that your son made it through his difficult time. I'm sure you are very happy about his progress. Thanks again for your kind words and encouragement.

SAM

Yes Sam, our school made a big fuss too and mostly out of them wanting to help I believe.. but it was a big load to put on such a little guy. He had a ton of homework for a first grader. I think they were trying to catch him up but it was a big strain on all of us. He was even put in a Reading Recovery program which did help him but everyone was clucking over his inability to read. His reading is excellent now! He was flipping letters last year and first they thought he had dyslexia. He also is somewhat of a dreamer. Tends to go off while the rest of the class goes on. For awhile this year I was a little ticked because of what they put us through emotionally last year but now I'm just grateful he's where he's at. I really do think that our schools are pushing. For some kids its great but for others who are equally or even smarter, its just too soon for them emotionally and maturity wise. Just keep believing in your son...you know him best and what his abilities are. Trust your instincts. They almost made me lose that because you keep thinking they are the experts. But in our case anyways they were wrong and I was right. I kept telling them he just needed time and they walked cautiously because they knew I was resistant.

A bit more detail about his toenails please.

Any spots, discolouration?
Are they ridged, malformed, rough, brittle, splitting etc?