Well I have asked for help with my 2 children and have gratefully received it and would like some help for me.

God knows where I start but Dolci shares a lot of my history.

I am unvaccinated. when I was 13 had glandular fever. When I was 18 diagnosed as having glandular fever again (I refuted this and insisted on further test and they came back negative. My symptoms were nausea and swollen glands with little yellow scabby things on - it was like swallowing glass, exhaustion. My symptons started when I was going through a stressfull time - (I had an awful childhood, brother died through vaccination and screwed my mother up, then brother tried to kill himself just before my symptoms started. I worked a 72 hour week to get away from family but kept suffering sore throats, swollen glands and yellow scabs which I could pick off and left little holes (nice eh), exhaustion and nausea, carpal tunnel. I gained lots of weight. I when I was about 20 years old I had to give up work I was so ill with exhaustion and nausea and was convinced I was dying of cancer or had ulcer but didn't care anyway, felt so ill I wanted to go to bed and never wake up. Developed bulimia which I suffered for about 10 years. Sore throats, exhaustion and sickness improved a bit as my bulimia worsened. Anyway things got so bad that I had therapy (it was that or kill myself). I think if I hadn't had such a good therapist I would be on the prozac drug train, but happily 2 years down the line and aged about 28 I can honestly say it was the best thing I have ever done. I confronted all my pain of my childhood and my bulimia disappeared completely. I thought my nausea was gone forever too but I was wrong - I was pregnant aged 30 and I had what is usually described as morning sickness but was exactly the exhaustion and nausea that I suffered with before this lasted for 9 months every single day (must be in my mind) - went away but came back with second pregnancy, again every day, tried homeopathy, about 20 remedies and accupuncture - did not help but seem to go again after baby.

I am now 35 and don't feel right at the moment, I am often very disproportionately angry with the children and really shout at them and lose my temper which is very frightening for my daughter, not interested in sex at all could happily never have it again, but I do love my husband, I am very quick tempered, only really like my own children, not very tolerant with other peoples children or other people for that matter. I come accross as aggressive and in control but I am really shy and lack self confidence, I can't bear sympathy, very intolerant of idiots, if someone bumps into my whilst shopping I feel like smashing my trolly into them (and often do) ( a good friend once said that I was so easy to hate!)I have always been a bit of a loner - don't socialise much but the few friends I have are really true and longlife friends - I don't have a lot of acquaintances. Could easily live on a diet of cereal, cheese sandwiches and chocolate, crave chocolate before period - but milk in cereal makes me feel sick. Seem to be getting very emotional lately (maybe that's what having kids does to you) could cry for England sometime over some stupid film - probably am really crying about my estranged mother - thought I had dealt with it in therapy but obviously not completely. My dreams have always been weird, am being chased a lot but it always seems like a really good film on TV, like Zmyst I know its a dream so don't get too scared, its just like an adventure. Sometimes I feel I can't cope with the kids and just want to run away (they are not even really bad) and hopefully GM's prescription for them will make things easier), hair and nails very healthy, grows very quick, tounge always greasy coated and bald patches on. I feel that my problems are really caused by mental state. I take Vit B complex which really gives me energy and have been taking chinese herbs which clear my tounge. I feel quite isolated and suffer from mood swings. Breastfed both my children but the strangest thing used to happen whilst feeding - a wave of terrible depression used to wash over me whilst feeding but would lift as soon as I had stopped - maybe there is a hormone that is released whilst feeding - it was weired. Can bear breasts to be touched now though.
Not very thirsty - could probably go all day without water, very flabby skin even though I exercise. Often get a shooting pain just above right shoulder near neck. Seem to have a little nodule in right bottom jaw - (dentists have seen it in x-ray and laugh and say no idea what it is). Lots of little moles on body. Before period dragging feeling so bad that I feel my womb is collapsing and I am about to give birth. Memory very poor lately.

Didn't go to a homeopath as just couldn't bear telling her everything face to face so prescribed myself sepia and have also tried Nat. mur neither worked but maybe I didn't take a high enough dose or take it for long enough (2 years ago).

I just need to mellow out a bit I feel life is too fast and stressful and don't want my old symptoms to reappear. - Really need a mother to love me but know I can't have this.

Any ideas.

Thank you in anticipation.

Linda W

I almost cried when I read this...especially about the 'mother' thing!

Anyhow - another clone here...you're not alone...

except I don't eat (or even like) chocolate that much...and the thirst is opposite to me...but your mentals describe how I felt after giving birth to my second child. I soooooo sympathise with you.

In fact, this episode in my life led me to Homeopathy - and the mental aspect has really come almost full circle! So, be optimistic...and hang in there...if you need more support - just let me know...I feel for you!

Take care!!!!
Lisa

I think that Dolci, Linda, Lisa and I ought to get together for a good b**** and whine session. Would we survive each other and
become great friends? Or tear each other apart? I suppose it depends on what kind of day we were having? We are all sweethearts underneath it all though aren't we? The venting can feel good at the time, but I don't think any of us are shallow enough to NOT see the damage it does to others AND ourselves. And THAT is scary and it hurts!

Linda, I've wanted to push my shopping cart into others too at times.
And yes, a "movie-like" quality to the dreams is an apt description! Sometimes I almost expect to see credits roll at the end of a dream.

Zmyst Not feeling so

Lisa,
Knew I shouldn't have put that bit about my mother - but I suppose I think its the key at the moment.

Anyway I first became interested in homeopathy since the birth of my first child when I realised that I couldn't let her be vaccinated.

Thanks your support - it helps.

Linda

Zmyst,

It's getting scary reading all these replies - but good to know there are people out there who understand (not that I want them to suffer just to know what its like). I have a good friend who at the time didn't really understand what I was going through but now she is on Prozac and knows exactly. - I want her off of it though but she says this way she can manage her life.

Hope you get a good day soon - hey when I was young I used to smash milk bottles to let of steam! - god was I even mad then!! I think I really need to try some meditation or something - have you tried anything?

Take care
Linda W

Linda,
when I was younger I used to smash raw eggs against trees when I was mad and frustrated.
Then I went to cigarettes for a while. Only smoked them when I would drink or get very angry. Well, I don't drink much at all anymore, and I can't tolerate cigarettes at all (they give me sore throats and make me feel like I have a hangover).

I've tried a little meditation. It helps IF I can find the time to actually do it. I have to learn more about it. Takes me some time to get in the right frame of mind to be able to have it be effective. Now, this is strange....but when I do start to practice meditation on a regular basis, I start dreaming about water....swimming in it, "pleasant" floods, that sort of thing. I LOVE those dreams! Unfortunately they are few and far between and ONLY when I am immersing myself in my spiritual side, and that is difficult to do, with all the other stuff I have to deal with. Ah! the power of feeling overwhelmed!!

Zmyst

Sepia 1M to start with.

Agreed, and stay away from acids and coffe, even chocolate.

WELL HELLL! YOU TWO MEAN WE CAN'T CLINK OUR COFFEE CUPS TOGETHER AND STUFF OUR FACES WITH CHOCOLATE????

uuuuh - I guess in my case it would be pastries instead of chocolate...but but but....grrrrrr

[This message has been edited by Lisa007 (edited 20 June 2000).]

Oh! Lisa!! We can still clink coffee cups together...they just have to be filled with water!

Slosh, slosh!

cheers!

Zmyst