Hi Everyone,
I found this board looking for help for my cats which I believe I have found. After reading topics and archives I have come to have hope that you guys may be able to help me. I spoke with the chiropractor I have been seeing the last 5 mo. since moving here regarding homeopathy and she said she believed in and had used it successfully but felt I was looking for a "quick fix", much like "drinking a pitcher of margarits instead of doing what I needed to do". Yes, there are circumstances I want to do something about but at this time am not able to due to factors I cannot control. However, I feel if I could get some kind of "inner" help I could better deal with my situation and take steps to resolve it. I would be deeply grateful if you would try to help me.
Most of what I feel has been with me since I can remember at 6-7 years old, at times abating but always there to re-surface. If you need more info of any kind please let me know as I desperately want your help.

I am 48, 5'7", 134 lbs. with light brown hair & greenish eyes that change to blue depending on what color I am wearing. I am small frame. Was prescribed Soma for muscle spasms last July for neck, shoulder injury. At most have taken 1xday for apx. 5 mo. when was really bad. Still take occasionally if cannot see chiropractor often enough to help. Take whole food supplements occasionally but take nothing on a regular
basis.

I feel constant inner tension, trembling with tension in jaws, breathing is not rythmic-very shallow and reluctant, much like acute fear. Cannot relax eeven when very tired. Feet & knees icy cold, ears feel stopped up & crackly(?) noise when swallow. Mucous membranes feel dry & hot-ears, nose, mouth. Eyes are bloodshot, dry & feel irritated-vision blurred like I can't blink enough to clear them. Appetite reduced, only want to eat 1xday.Must have iced tea (decaf/sweet-n-low) with me all day. Drink with straw as teeth are cold sensitive. Crave fresh air & warmth. Fresh air aggrivates allergy/hay fever. Get sinus congestion & headache relieved by warm, moisture or chiro. adjustment.
Deep sense of anxiety.Feel overwhelmed & behind. Always feel rushed like I am behind, that I do not get enough done. Panicky if I sit too long(1-2hrs) watching a movie or doing nothing "constructive". Feel lost and aimlessly wandering. Apprehensive of future and sadness for past. Focus on just getting through another day then realize months have gone so quickly. Tend to not experience things in the moment but in retrospect. Feel extremely critical of self & others. Know it is just me so don't verbalize criticism of others but feel I should do better. Hypersensitive to surroundings-noise, light, people. Sometimes feel I have taken on others feelings from the people around me. Deep sense of lonliness. Fear I may not be able to be helped. Feel guilty that I cannot make myself feel better. Feel I just can't pick myself up & put myself back together this time. Deep sadness from having to leave my home & yard due to co.closings resulting in loss of my jobs. Miss my friends, plants & stray kitties. Can't think about them without wanting to cry. Feel ashamed & guilty that I am in this situation, having problems I cannot seem to solve.

Constant tension in neck with stiffness (mainly L side). Tension in upper back & shoulders. Shoulders cupping inward, always stooped posture. Get tight, burning sensation between shoulder blades if use arms too much. Get burning, tingling pain at base of neck on L side where shoulder, spine & neck meet when use L arm or hand for lifting or repetitive motion which will cause spasm in L front where clavicle & neck meet.
Tend towards constipation. Scanty urine flow.Nose feels dry & stuffy. Lips, mouth feel dry. Eyes dry, red, irritated with swollen lids. Dark circles under eyes. Eyelids have 3 tiny, white, lumpy cysts. Crooked teeth lower front with 1 that becomes infected from time to time & has deep receding gum pocket. Have some mercury fillings that I cannot afford to have removed at this time. Mouth has foul taste, at times like weak pus & salt. Deep furrow between eyebrows. Skin dry, wrinkled and tan easily. Told have olive complexion. Small white bumps under skin on face. Thumbnails have horizontal ridges, R worse. Large blue veins on hands, R worse. Slight "jowls" at cheeks. Protruding abdomen, worse after eating. Get pain behind eyes from reading too long or working at computer. Feel eyes became worse '96 when started using computer 10-12 hrs. day. Vision bad up close & need lots of light. 3 dark spots on hands from pencil lead in grade school. Large flat, dry, rough mole R upper back. Large, soft, fleshy mole L upper back towards spine.
Difficulty getting sleepy before 1 a., wake after 2 hrs. sometimes unable to go back to sleep before 6 a. Often want something sweet upon awakening at night & need iced tea. Need lotion on feet to sleep. Want cold, dark, quiet room with warm covers. Cannot sleep in clothing & have nightmares if get too warm. Sleep on side, mostly R. Feet & knees icy cold for long time after retiring. If lie on stomach nose stops up & cannot breathe.

Allergic reaction to MSG, steroids, poison ivy & cold medications & dogs if closed in with them.
Seasonal allergies worse in Spring & Fall.
Aversion to moist fish, can tolerate an occassional bite or 2 if fried & doesn't smell fishy. Pasteurized milk, can tolerate raw milk occasionally. Cottage cheese,alcoholic drinks except Guinness (1-2 per month). Dislike cold foods & dry foods. Prefer warm,saucey & spicey. Prefer mildly sweet to sour. Like home grown apricots, plums, cherries & peaches. Would rather eat whole wheat toast than packaged dinner products, white pasta. Do not like temp extremes. Prefer room temp filtered water. Like 3-4 cups black coffee in a.m. then iced tea & water. Must have something to drink at all times. When ill want mashed potatoes & gravy, lemon meringue pie, cinnamon toast & sometimes mexican food.

Feel better in cool-warm humid enviorment. Outdoors with greenery though it tends to make my allergies worse. Warm baths. Neat, clean home with light to pastel colors. Like bright carribbean colors but in small doses. Dislike primary & dark colors. Prefer quiet, harmonious sounds. Do not like television or stereo on for long periods of time. Like soft fabrics & architectural lines.

Love my cats & all animals. Do not enjoy people for extended periods. Feel panicked when someone stays at my house, especially in the morning. I feel I must get out for a while or they must leave. Want to help anyone with anything I can especially animals. Have a social & private behavior. Around people I am outgoing, fun & enjoy myself but ready to get home to enjoy my solitude. Do not like tight clothing around waist. Usually wear big t-shirt & socks at home. Cannot relax around people. Like people just don't want them close to me for
very long. Tend to feel other peoples feelings if I get close to them. Continuous cycle of trust, hope, dissappointment & despair with people, myself & life. Wind, especially dry, makes me feel restless, depressed & lonely. Wind on head will cause earache. Love thunderstorms & rain. Like night. Feel safer in dark than light. Feel safer outside than indoors. Do not like to be held for long period of time. Fear of height if depending on self for support. Feel need to see new sights occassionally, a drive or window shopping helps. Prefer to work with letters than numbers & like to work with color. Difficulty doing anything with a soft touch.

Youngest of 3 children. Usual childhood illnesses & vaccinations. Smallpox vacc never left scar. Have had 2-3 tetanus shots.Tonsils & Adenoids removed at 11 years, hemorraged 3 days after. Childbirth at 20 years & hemorraged. No other surgeries, major illness or broken bones. Was accident prone as a child.

Father burned to death in automobile '83 age 62. Had extensive med. history including advanced drug/alcohol abuse, heart blockage, mental disturbances.Grandfather died of stomach cancer. Grandmother died of heart attack.
Mother died of pulmonary edema '98 age 77. Had long med. history including asthma, anurism, padgetts disease of nipple with breast removed & Alzheimers.Grandfather died of cerebral hemorrage. Grandmother died of heart attack.
Son died of septicemia from burst kidney due to chemotherapy drugs. Was diagnosed at 2 years with leukemia & died at 6 1/2 years.

Was born with mild spina bifida, lordosis & severe kyphosis (?) discovered at 17. Mother had nervous disorder when I was born & could not care for me 1st year. Father was caregiver & had to leave me at friends sometimes when he had to work. Mom could deal with me after apx 14 mo. then had to be hospitalized for nervous exhaustion. I loved my animals & being outdoors. Was scalded by boiling coffee at 4. Underarm L side was torn requiring stitches at 5. Pinned between car & concrete building at 6, no broken bones but very sore for a few weeks. Fell apx.5' flat on back apx. 6. Would hide in closet when company was coming if they had children. Would finally come out & play & have a good time. Felt scared when father was drunk. Moved from farm when I was 7. I missed my animals & outdoors. Hated the noise & lights of town. Would not go to school & was put on phenobarbital in 2nd grade. Was treated with drug therapy (mother was a nurse) until teens & decided I could do that myself. That continued except for the time I was pregnant & when I had my little boy. When he died I returned to prescription drugs. Quit all in '86. Was not difficult to give up drugs & drinking.

Several car accidents totalling out 5 cars. Rear ended by cars & semi truck, no treatment or hospitilization. Hit head on windshield in one & would lose control of neck muscles off & on for about 2 years. Twisted shoulder & neck in one & had pain under L shoulder blade for a few months. Last July injured neck, shoulder L side and have had many problems since then.

Have gone to Chiropractors for 16 years. Helps but doesn't seem to last. Was feeling much better physically & mentally with Chiropractor I had last 5 mo. before I had to move. With her treatments I was actually getting stronger & was requiring fewer treatments. With the chiropractor I see now I feel very temporary relief not lasting more than 2 days. She is supposedly the best here.

I rarely remember any dreams. The last one I had was apx 4 nights ago. I was looking out my front door & neighbors accross street were outside acting really strange. Some people came walking down the street on their side & the neighbors killed them. Their eyes were wild looking, round & red. I felt guilty that I did not do something to stop them.
When my son died I had 2 recurring dreams. 1 that I was holding a tiger in my arms & it just died. The other was I would go someplace & Jonathon would be there. I would feel so guilty because I thought he was dead but I had just forgotten & left him someplace & someone else had been caring for him all that time.
In my teens I had recurring dream that I was in my car at stoplight & a car would pull up on L side & passenger would shoot me with shotgun.

I have felt most of my life that I don't belong & there is something really wrong with me. I can't seem to accomplish anything. It's like no matter how hard I try everything just falls apart & I have to start over again. Now I feel that way mentally & physically, finding it extremely difficult to "pick myself up" & go on. Feel even if I can it will be same cycle over again.
I feel embarrassed & ashamed to have to ask you guys to take the time to try & help me. I know from reading this board you have a lot of people needing your time & help. So to all of you that bothered to take the time to wade through all this I want you to know that I am grateful. Any help will be deeply appreciated.

Warmly, onebabykitty

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[This message has been edited by onebabykitty (edited 04 September 2000).]

Phosporus one m one dose once, works two months, and stop coffe , chocolate, coca cola..min four days before taking it, phos is sensitve, and easy to antidote, even smell of coffe may antidote it, stop it from working.
Avoid strong smells, like airfresheners..

Thank You GM,

I will order this today. I will stop the coffee, etc. and keep you posted.

Warm Smiles, onebabykitty

Dear onebabykitty,

I'm so overwhelmed by your story I don't know what to say......except my heart goes out to you and with it, all good wishes for a future filled with happiness. Much of what you have written hits home with me.

On a lighter side.......drinking cold beverages with a straw.....I still do that even though the condition that caused the sensitive teeth no longer exists. For about 2 years following quite a bit of dental work, my teeth were so sensitive I couldn't let air touch them. The face/jaw pain was horrible. I was taking upward of 50 aspirin daily. During this time the teeth never actually hurt, just sensitive. Doctors finally determined it was a mental problem and that I should go into therapy. (By then it may have become a mental issue because I had come to conclusion that if I shot off the one side of my head that hurt so much the pain would be gone! But I never told anyone that was what I was thinking.) I went to several other dentists to inquire if the dental work could have caused the problem and all confirmed "no".

Abscesses started developing, one by one, on each ltooth the dentist had filled. What a relief! There was, according to the teaching dentist who finally corrected the problem, nothing in each filling to buffer it from the live nerve. Seven of them. He used my case as a teaching example of how not to perform dentistry. The dentist who did this terrible job said I was just too sensitive and is now a specialist.......in dental surgery!

I believe that people who endure hardships are meant to do something special....that's why they endure. Your love of nature (and most important to me......CATS) may be the direction life intended you to take to find your peace and purpose. Looks as though you have already saved several kitties lives and to me, that is a wonderful purpose. I have every confidence that GM will be successful in assisting you to a place that is right for you.

Hi gpm,
Thank you for your kindness & support.
I also continue to drink through a straw although my teeth aren't nearly as sensitive any more.
Yes, the therapy. I have done that for several years until apx. '96 when I decided yes, I had benefitted but mostly from the work I had done on my own through various self-help type mediums but in general the solution in psychiatry was drugs and in psychology they seemed to feel identifying a problem and getting deeper into it was the solution. Made no sense to me. I've just been trying to trust God & do the very best I can when I can for the last 4 years. I had no idea homeopathy could help me until I came here and started reading everything. I am very hopeful now & feel more peaceful than I have in a long time just knowing I can finally be helped. Thanks to GM and you for all your kindness & support me, BabyKitty and Sunshine just might have a happy, healthy little family and be able to pass on what we have been given so freely.

Warm Smiles, onebabykitty

Dear onebabykitty,

I just wanted to lend my support and also to let you know that you should really read up on the remedy prescribed for you as it really "fits." I am still a first year student and often am clueless as to what remedy fits the picture but yours seemed very clear. I just thought I'd let ya know, as it can be exciting to read about a remedy and see yourself clearly.

Take Care and keep us posted,
Barb

Hi Barb!
It was so good to see your posting! I have missed you. Hope everything is going well for you.
I have looked up the remedy as best I could on the internet. I found 2 or 3 sites that had some really good (I thought) information but can't remember where now. I spend most all my free time looking for info on the internet. Some of it is, well, lets just say that I have to wade through and blunder through the fog!
I am really happy for you that you are getting to study. I know it must take most, if not all, of your time. I know you will make an excellent homeopath. You certainly were a help to me when I first posted and I will always be grateful to you for that. I wish you all the best in your studies.
If you have anything particular in mind that you think would be good for me to read please let me know.
Thank you for taking the time to post and for your support. It is truly appreciated.

Warm Smiles,
onebabykitty

Hi Guys!

Had to put on my sunglasses to handle GM's brilliance! Last night reading info at homeoint on Phos. I remembered when I was a pre-school child I would get in trouble for getting used matches out of the ashtrays and eating them. I don't remember exact age or how long I did this. Also, that I played with mercury as a child. We always had it around as my dad used it to brighten coins. The other thing was when I gave blood last year they were shocked at how fast my blood came out, said they had never seen anything like it before at Red Cross.
Anyway, I feel very enlightened and in awe.Thank you all so much!

And Barb, I am impressed...a first year student and "got it".

Warm Smiles,
onebabykitty

[This message has been edited by onebabykitty (edited 11 September 2000).]

I've had to put my sunglasses on a few times too!!!

Phos is not mentioned for craving indigestible things. Also, a Phosphorous person should be very strongly aggravated by the raw substance.

Has the phosphorous helped you yet?

David