I have a three yr old son who I am currently trying to Find a remedy for. We see a Homeopath and she is trying hard to help but I am so at my wits end. I don't know if I need a remedy myself, a good nights sleep or just a decent bitch session but to just get some of this off my chest will be helpful if you can bear with me!

My son was sexually violated at the beginning of the year. Physically he is ok, and he still likes the person who did it, he isn't scared of him but I think that the anger and hurt felt by the adults involved has affected him. We no longer have any contact with the other person.

He started Kindy at about the same time so that was another big event for him. He is settled and happy there. When settling him in I have to leave him on the swings or else he crys and doesn't want me to leave. (which is a bit of a problem with winter coming on). He likes me to pull the swing up as opposed to pushing him on it. If I leave him and he isn't on the swing he will cry while I am leaving but it doesn't last long and the teacher can involve him in play.

He doesn't sleep well. I think that this is the crux of a lot of the problems as I am up with him in the night and don't have the patience I need to deal with him during the day. He usually wakes between 3-4am. He wants cuddles, Milk, toilet, more cuddles the light on, the door open. I often end up yelling at him to shut up and go to sleep as he will be awake for up to 2 hours. (I feel like the worlds worst mum, but I am so sleep deprived that I can barely drag myself out of bed in the mornings. I just can't deal with it rationally anymore).

He doesn't want to eat unless he is being fed. I try not to feed him as he is totally capable of feeding himself he just doesn't want to. He uses it as a real power ploy. "I"M not going to eat unless YOU feed me". If I don't feed him he wakes up hungry so I end up doing it. I have tried star charts etc but it doesn't work. He doesn't get dessert unless he eats his dinner but he doesn't care. He eats a range of food (when in fact he is eating that is). He likes salad type food and fruit. He likes finger foods best and will eat the food I pack into his lunch box.

He is very clingy when we are out. At home he will play by himself (a vast improvement on before). He likes to touch my hair and will often insist that I take my hairband out so that he can stoke it or just hold onto it. He can be very gentle but is often rough, pulling on my hair, twisting it up and using his head to push into me. He will hit me and scratch me if I am not doing what he wants and screams blue murder regularly. I have taken to locking him out of the house so that I can calm myself and deal with him better. There are certianly times when I have dragged him to his room and am afraid that i could hurt him without meaning to. He just gets me so angry.

He has bad teeth. They are close together and yellowy. He already has decay in two places, on the top front and bottom front teeth.

The remedy I was prescribed for him was Magnesium Sil 1m. He improved after the first dose and became less clingy, ate better but the sleep didn't improve. After a month my homeopath said to give another dose which I did. He has got worse since then. The first day after the remedy he woke up at 4am and didn't go back to sleep. The next night it was 3am and then didn't go back to sleep. I was so desperate I then brought a seditive (phenergan) and doped him up so that I could get some sleep. I did that for 4 nights and then the last two nights he has woken up again. I am up with him for about 30 minutes and he cries and gets really upset when I go back to bed. He doesn't go straight back to sleep, I can hear him talking and playing in his bed. He sleeps with the light on and I left his door open fully. On waking he is difficult and only wants to watch tv.

I have another son who is at school so I have to get moving and get them out of the house but it is very difficult, and I usually end up yelling for them to get a move on!

I am hoping for a miracle and a whole nights sleep but if no-one can produce that, a few, "it will be ok" 's will do!

Thanks for listening.

My sympathies with your situation.
I think lycopodium 200c single dose will be the remedy to help your son.
Since GM isn't on line at present, it would be good to have Frank's opinion on this one.
What do you think Frank?

PS You (the boy's mum) may need Staphysagria, but more symptoms are needed if you want a prescription to help you cope too. Maybe you won't need a remedy once your son is better, although his trauma has affected you too of course.

Mag sil is an unproven rx. Homeopath experimenting with your kid. Agree Lycopodium, say 200. Child bossing Mum instead of Mum bossing child & clingy is classic Lycopodium. Staph also sounds reasonable for being under the thumb!

Thankyou for your replies. Connor's first ever remedy was Lyc so maybe that is what he needs again. I phoned my Homeopath again and she wants to see him instead of just talking on the phone, she agrees that Mag Sil might not be the right one.

Personally I don't feel that I am in need of a remedy at the moment, as apart from the sleep deprevation which makes me crazy, I feel quite balanced, if you get what I mean. I have had a remedy since this happened and have been seeing a councellor weekly.

The last two nights when he woke up it was 2.30am the first night (which is a bit earlier than normal) and 3.50am last night.
Around 4pm he starts to get gross and goes downhill from there (fortunately "Pokemon" starts at 4pm!!!). There again, watching TV is a new thing for him, he never wanted watch for long, but now he watches lots of tv, and I let him so that I get a break. I don't have an issue with cows milk but both of my children are intollerant to it and I use soy for them.

I had to smile Frank reading your message describing me as 'under the thumb'. I guess that sums it up alright!...wondered what the bald spot was on the top of my head!

p.s. I feel bad for moaning about not getting enough sleep. I know that there are lots of people who get less than me, but with Connor being up and down, my husband snoring and me working myself up, waiting for the next interruption in the night I just seem to lie there and only doze. Sleep is often an issue for me because i am such a witch when I don't get enough of it!

I dont have a remedy...I just want to say that I am praying for you and I know what it is like to go without sleep. I have been there in the past with my little son when he was young. I dont know if Connor takes naps but it may be a good idea to not let him. I dont know if that will make a difference or if you've even tried. My Joey, if he takes a nap now (he's 5) he is up sooooo late. It makes me crazy. So I do know what it feels like.

Good luck you are in GREAT hands on the BB. The homeopaths are really really great. You'll see.

Wow - I'm learning....I also thought LYC before I scrolled down to the other posts....

cjd, I just wanted to offer my support, as well. As one who has been there - no sleep really causes problems - with anyone. I experienced sleep-deprivation when my first child was born and it was not a pretty site.

I understand the feelings that surge when one has not had proper sleep and rest. I think that your reaction is quite normal...but wonder also if a remedy would help you to get back into shape, as well. Deprived sleep will have its affects on anyone - and of course, the key is how you react to it...that is why I thought perhaps a rem for you would help - while you are coping with your son's situation.

It sounds as if you are trying your hardest to tame the awful feelings that arise - and I can't claim I would do better (in fact I would probably be worse off as I don't function at all without my sleep!).....

Here is a little circumstance that I shudder to think about - even 6 1/2 years later!~ We took a trip to Africa when my daughter was 20 months old...on the way - we stopped in Holland to see some friends...well, no sleep on the 11 hours journey NONE! With my child singing the whole plane down...then arrived - it was daytime...so another 8 or 10 hours until bedtime. So, at that point I had been up about 36 hours! (Our flight left the states mid day..and arrive europe next morning, etc)....and come bedtime - my child was NOT sleepy. I sat with her for 2 or 3 hours more -and dozed - but she wanted to play. I was driven beyond sanity at that point and shouted and screamed (in our friend's home, no less..how embarrasing!!!0 at her to GO TO SLEEP! She cried her heart out - I felt guilty as hell (throw in the overwhelming embarrassment from not controlling myself) and still got no sleep that night!

To this day, I turn red at the memory...and my dear friend, while understanding to a degree (never said a word to me about it) - seemed not to have this problem, which only made me feel like a freak! Of course, in looking back, I realise (especially now having studied Homeopathy) now that everyone manifests symptoms in their own unique and individual way.....that is my only comfort with this memory.

Anyhow - take care - hang in there....and at least know there is hope and this will be sorted eventually.

So, don't feel alone - and please don't worry about 'moaning' - at least you aren't suppressing how you feel!

Take care...love, a big hug - and a kiss!
Lisa

[This message has been edited by Lisa007 (edited 01 June 2000).]

Anna if it any help you have my support for both those remedies. As I was reading the case I was thinking of Staph. for cjd. I have found that many of my constitutional Staph patients have an issue around oows milk and I would be interested to know if this is the case for you cjd? However what you are going through at the moment is hard. Are you getting any prctical help with counselling for yourself.

What is your son like at around 4pm in the afternoon? When he woke uo the last 2 nights what time was it?

c.
Oh, I know what you are going through! My son used to be so much like that in grade-school. Fearful...such fights to get him to stay in bed at night because of his fears.
Clingy, irritible...my oh my! And my reactions to all this, on a regular basis were so much like yours. It does drive one quite crazy.
Now at almost 16, he still wants to sleep in my bedroom if can.
We are in the process of trying to find the remedy for my son. (AND myself) He is currently under-going a antidoting per GM and will take his remedy in about 5 days now.
Also, which is interesting...my son had a problem with milk when he was a baby and was given soy formula.
One golden star point for you and your son...is that you found Homeopathy while your son is still young! I wish I had. May have saved us both years of misery and emotional 's

Zmyst