Dirt: Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it an SPF factor of 15 and leave it alone.

Cobwebs: Cobwebs artfully draped over lamp shades reduce the glare from the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your partner points out that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look confused and exclaim, "What? And spoil the mood?" (Or just throw glitter over them and pretend they're leftover holiday decorations.)

Pet hair: Explain the mounds of pet hair brushed up against the doorways by claiming that you are collecting it to use for stuffing hand-sewn play animals for underprivileged children. (Also keeps out cold drafts in winter.)

Guests: If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly into one room and close the door. As you show your guests through your tidy home, rattle the doorknob vigorously, fake a growl and say, "I'd love for you to see our den, but Fido hates to be disturbed and the shots are SO expensive."

Dusting: If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showy urn on the coffee table and insist that "this is where Grandma wanted us to scatter her ashes."

General cleaning: Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household cleaner with two cups of water in a spray bottle. Mist the air lightly. Leave damp rags in conspicuous locations. Develop an exhausted look, throw yourself on the couch and sigh, "I clean and I clean and I still don't get anywhere."

As a last resort, heat the oven, throw a teaspoon of cinnamon in a pie pan, then turn off the oven and explain that you have been baking cookies for a bake sale for a favorite charity and haven't had time to clean. The scent works every time!

I love it!

__________________
Shirley Reischman

I am ars. ..... this is funny. yeh!

I am sure sulphur loves it! :razz:

[ 04. January 2004, 02:05: Message edited by: Red face ]

What an intriguing idea! I can report that a family member (sulph/acon) did think it was hilarious. I initially assumed the absurdity of it appealed to me. In light of your take on it, perhaps it was the ingenuity! :razz: