Hello, everyone.

This is my first visit to this Forum and I look forward to getting much needed information.

I have used alternative medicine my entire life as my mother and grandmother were both homeopaths.

I am 44 years old and for the past two 1/2 years or so I have been experiencing irregular periods, weight gain, bloating, on and off again depression, periods of anxiety and periods of "What's life all about?" I have always been considered someone who is a "leader," proactive, highly sensitive, intelligent, creative, highly intuitive and responsible. If I make you a promise, it's gold. However, I realize I can also be controlling, demanding, selfish, emotionally unstable at times, petulant and strongly opinionated.

I bring all this up so you can get a better picture of who I am. My life was going fairly smoothly (except for a brief period of depression in 1999) when I nearly lost my house in a wildfire in June of 2002. I bring this up because I've come to believe that this event triggered so much. I evacuated to a friend's house. During the 5 days I stayed with him, he informed me that he cared a great deal for me (we'd been friends for 10 years) and that he wanted to know if we could "explore our friendship." Thus, began a whirlwind courtship and incredible romance that resulted in us marrying each other a year later (2003). I can tell you that my adrenal glands went through a huge shift. I lost 25 pounds in a mere four month period during our courtship (145 to 120 pounds). Frankly, I felt better than I'd ever felt in my entire life. I was happier and more full of joy and hope than ever before. That lasted for about five months. The "fairytale" came back to reality when real life intervened as it always does. We went through our trying times that any relationship goes through. My emotions and perspective (perception) often played tricks on me. I would believe things were much worse than they really were at times. This would have driven away most men but my husband is incredibly patient and loving. The reason I bring up the perceptions issue is that the whole courtship seemed unreal at times. My husband and I discussed this and he, too, felt the same way. We both expressed that we felt as if it was all a dream. I think this is important to my case. After we married, I felt again as if it wasn't real. I had a difficult time believing that this was my husband and I was his wife. Again, there was a certain dream quality to all this. I mentioned this to a good friend who knows me well and she felt I was still dealing with the trauma of the fire (which literally shook me to my core) and then the subsequent courtship that was as breathtaking as any courtship. Life happened very quickly and I was literally just trying to hang on for dear life.

Okay, fast forward now three years. I have regained all the weight I lost and am back at 145. I can exercise until the cows come home and nothing works. I eat one of the best, organic diets around. I know I have entered perimenopause. My emotions were taking a real toll on my life and my marriage until my homeopath recommended Belladonna as my constitutional remedy. After a few doses, I felt as if I had finally calmed down and much of the stress was gone. I took a hormone saliva test last year and discovered that I was seriously estrogen dominant, so much so that my homeopath recommended topical application of progesterone cream for only 10 days during the month. This helped me tremendously, again, allowing my emotions to become much more stable and grounded. However, I didn't like to have to apply a hormonal cream as a solution as I was concerned of hormonal imbalance. My periods became irregular again (after about 8 months on the cream) and I took another hormone saliva test. This time the test showed that I had far too much progesterone and testosterone in my system. My homeopath said "no more" on the cream and I definitely agreed. But the periods became impossible to predict. I'd go 47 days, then 9, then 20, then 25, then 45 days and so on. So, she recommended a PAP test. The PAP test came by with "atypical cells" and so a colposcopy was ordered by the Gynocologist. The biopsy came back that I had "mild cervical dysplasia" but with no "grade." They then wanted to do a LEEP procedure (electrocuting the cells around the cervix) and cryosurgery (freezing the cells.) This seemed far too aggressive for "mild" problems and after two more opinions by doctors, I was correct in my feelings. I was told that by simply increasing folic acid and adding several good antioxidants to my regimen, I should have a "normal" PAP test in another 5 months. I am in the process of doing all of this and will return for another PAP in February of 2006. However, the stress of all this and the fears projected by my Gynocologist about cancer and such have really taken a toll on my emotionally. I have no cancer in my family. They all die of old age, heart attacks, strokes or diabetes.

After a particularly emotionally stressful summer dealing with all this, my homeopath has now recommended FOLLICULINUM. She wants me to take it in the 7C potency on the next full moon to essentially drive it into my system better. As I often don't ovulate and my periods are so irregular, it's difficult to ascertain days of my period in order to dose with FOLLICULINUM. Thus, she wants me to do it on the full moon and I'm all for it.

I have read the incredible articles on Folliculinum (Mist or Miasm, and others) and really feel my homeopath is onto something here. I guess what I am looking for is that special remedy—that wonderful "hit"—that will allow me to feel brighter and more alive again. From what I have read about FOLLI, I am hoping that this will do the trick.

I would any and all input on my case and any similar case studies to mine that anyone feels may be of value. I understand that also using Vitex in herbal tincture during the progesterone side of the cycle may be of value. I'm all for that. But I feel that right now I need some major "kick in the pants" to set myself back to a more stable person. I do feel that FOLLI may be that special remedy.

Here are a few more aspects that may be of help to anyone reading this:

Never been pregnant.

Never had an STD or herpes.

Started period at 14.

Did not have any early sexual activity.

Was controlled very much by my father growing up and well into my 30's.

Never used the Pill.

Have a high sex drive.

Was sexually molested by an osteopathic physican when I was 9 in his office over a course of roughly 4 months. (He never used his penis, but his fingers).

In my intimate relationships, I tend to merge with the other, taking on the role of caretaker and nurturer. While I am VERY independent when I'm single, I find that I lose my identity when I'm with a man. Now that I'm married, this factor is extremely easy to identify.

I feel I have lost myself at the age of 44. I feel vacant and not driven any longer. I've lost my purpose and my reason for living. I tend to project my unhappiness onto my husband as if it's his job to make me happy. What I felt was his problems, I've now realized are MY discontent.

Sorry for the long post but I figured it was needed in order to see my case in the best light.

Thank you