A quotation fromTinus Smits (Netherlands) - WWW.tinussmits.com/english/inspiring/carcinosinum

He writes under "development of the carc picture from the essence"
The Carc patient has a very low self esteem and fundamental lack of self confidence combined with weak defenses. Therefore he is very sensitive to everything that can undermine his self confidence .... One way to survive is adaptation and avoidance of criticism ...
...this person can also try to nourish his confidence by seeking approbation by being brilliant. He feels ill at ease with people that are as good as him. ... This can push him to very great heights, working continuously to stay on top and having no other interests in life. We fel the big ego problem that is manifesting, but what manifests itself as a big ego outside, is in fact a weak ego inside.

This is perhaps worth thinking about in your case.
Luzie