Hi all,

I am suffering terribly with what has now been labeled as bipolar disorder. I don't have access to a well trained homeopath and am thinking of giving it a go myself, hopefully with some help. I realize that it is not optimum but at this point i am considering lithium bc it is impossible for me to continue living this way...i have a husband and 2 young children)


My mental states change rapidly , the manic states are characterized by great irritability and agitation. i feel like throwing things around and yelling "just everyone get away from me!" i feel like i have had too much coffee, jittery and fidgetty
my mind feels like it is running on fast foreward, like i have to hurry hurry.. i am especially irritated if i am interrupted or if i have to stop what i am doing...i also can be very happy and chatty, going from one subject to another, with waves of what i can only describe as a euphoric rush, my stomache feels like it is rounding the big hill of a roller coaster

I am relieved by being alone where i knock out alot of work and feel elated about it (i get agitated quickly when the family returns with all of the chaos)
I am also always better in the early evening around dusk until bedtime.i usually don't have trouble sleeping.

I am worse right after i get up and on weekends because of the unstructured time, also any day when things change without any warning to me...so i guess i'm better when there is order to the day.


The deppression hits my limbs feel very heavy and i don't feel like talking i still feel like i want everyone out of my way and don't tolerate change very well. It is worse if my husband and i get in a fight (which happens more often when i'm cycling through these mood swings) i often feel like i wish i would die but don't have the courage to kill myself, i think about running off but know i couln't liv with the guilt over leaving my children....when i feel this way i drive around listening to books on tape and the soothes me or i write in my journal , i usually feel better being around friends but have to force myself out.... definately i am meaner to my family and much happier with friends and even nicer to strangers


I often move from the *wanting to die* feelings to waves of euphoric happiness in less than half a day. This is all happening presently. Mostly the agitated feelings , though alot of heavy deppression, ugh! each switch is usually accompanied with the roller coaster feeling in my tummy

I always have the feeling that i need to yawn and sometimes feel out of breath , like my lungs aren't getting enough air.


I am also having digestive symptoms presently. I always feel the urge to have a bowel movement and i never feel fully evacuated. They are soft and messy , though this may change quickly also.


Is anyone willing to comment on this, is it dangerous for me to attempt? I feel desperate to help myself, i do *not* want to take the drugs that i keep hearing are the only way for me to have a normal life


Thank you in advance, Kelly (i used to post under the name stClaire)

[ 08 January 2002: Message edited by: beloved ]</p>