Dear Shirley,
dear Shashi,
Ladies and Gentlemen,

this is my weekly update:

The week was very stressful but ok over all. The stress peaked yesterday when my office computer kept malfunctioning which forced me to restart it about 15 times throughout the day (no exaggeration). I was super-annoyed and I think Thuja did a very good job inside me yesterday. Half a year ago, I am convinced, I would have reacted even more annoyed and angry at this situation.

Today (Friday evening) I am very, very tired and will go to bed very early. At the moment there is no energy left in me and it is only nine o'clock in the evening.

I exercised four mornings and yesterday evening. I had already decided not to exercise yesterday but I felt so bad about the decision that I dug out the weights and did the weight-lifting exercises even though it was pretty late in the evening and I was very tired. This is the second week this year that I completed my planned workout.

On Wednesday I fought a tremendous fight: Again I sat in front of a plate full of fancy cookies all morning during a business meeting and this time, the very first time in my life, I did not take a cookie (then - I compensated in the evening with low-carb/high cocoa chocolate ...). Anyway, I think it is an achievement that I did not have the cookies in the morning.

My weight is at 91.999999999 Kilos this morning (about 203 pounds) and throughout the week I was sad about my weight. It seems to be glued onto me. Every day I tell myself: no cheating today, and honestly, the cheating becomes less and less. The weight leaves sooooooooooo slow, that makes me angry. My facial hair also still bothers me a lot and I know that it will keep getting worse if I do not normalize my insulin-level, which can only be normalized by loosing the (curse word) weight. I am becoming impatient because I have been at the same weight for such a long time now and I do hope that there will be weight movement (away from me) again very, very soon.

There is one other major problem (= challenge) that I still have to solve: I do not carry through with my plans and actions that are urgently needed to be carried out. For example, I need to clean up my private desk and paper work (I am behind with two quarterly tax-statements) and keep postponing these tasks. I keep finding other pastimes, like taking care of my brother by telephone like I described earlier. By the way, my daily telephone conversations with him seem to encourage him to clean up his apartment. Is this not paradox? I am successfully telling him to get busy and I myself fail to get busy.

Last weekend I printed out the EFT manual off the web-page that you, Ricky, suggested and since then have read a lot of it. It fascinates me. Maybe in there lies a way to address my laziness and my inability to get busy with the really important tasks?

Given that it was a very exhausting and demanding week I still feel that I am balanced and calm, just very, very tired and drained of any energy.

Tomorrow morning, I expect, everything will look a lot better and my resolution for this weekend is to finally get busy and clean up my messy desk. I will return here either tomorrow or on Sunday to let you know how I did.

At the moment I am fighting but I still see myself on my way towards energy and health.

Thank you for being there and for 'listening' and helping.

Bettina