Dear Ricky,
dear Simone,
dear Shashi,
dear Shirley,
Ladies and Gentlemen,

thank you very much for your kind posts. Reading them felt very good.

This is my weekly update:

Everything is ok, I am stable and balanced. The period only lasted four days and only one and a half days were painful. I did not need Ibuprofen.

I exercised all five working day mornings this week - after more than six lazy weeks this is the first week that I am content with myself as far as exercise is concerned.

More and more I am managing to stay on the diet again, there was less cheating during the week. I did cheat on the last weekend and am really angry I did. This happened more than once: I do well during the week and cheat on the weekend. It then takes the next week to work off the result of the weekend before. It is my own fault. So for this weekend I have only one aim: STAY ON THAT DIET!!! Unfortunately it only takes very little carbohydrate cheating to increase my weight by a Kilo and then it takes four to five days to loose the Kilo (= 2 pounds) again.

Currently I am spending a lot of time on the phone talking to my younger authistic brother trying to remote-control (better 'help') him. I call him twice each evening. He lives as far away as my parents (same city) and my parents are deeply worried, sad and angry about him and are at the end of their energy with him I fear. He moved to his own apartment about two years ago and it seems he does not take care of his flat properly. They visited him and found him living in an untidy and dirty mess. So I decided to help cope with the situation and have been calling him to persuade him to do his housework. I seems to work but it is sooooooooooooooo slow. It took three evenings for him to have only his bathroom cleaned. I am telling you this, because I am really amazed (and a little bit proud) that I feel stable and well balanced although I am having to deal with this problem that is really close to my soul. (For me it is very hard to hear that my parents feel helpless and do not know what to do. I am very happy that this week I had the power and patience to cope with my difficult brother.)

I can not put into words how very grateful I am for your kind and generous and always patient help and advice and reassurance. Do you remember the black tunnel and the little light at its end that I mentioned when I started here? For me the light has never shone brighter than at this moment. I do not at all feel helpless anymore.

Thank you very, very much.

Bettina