Hello Johnstanton!

My anxiety is mostly social, in groups or where I am the focus of attention. I am
fine when I am alone or with family,even a
family group. My anxiety is less of a problem when I am unknowingly put in a strange situation than if I would know about
it beforehand. If I knew about it, I would
probably try to avoid it somehow. I really do avoid most social situations if I can. I can remember my first feelings of anxiety at
5 years of age when I was supposed to start
kindergarten. I refused to go so was put in
first grade the following year. I struggled
with school phobia until the day I graduated from sr. high and into art school.

Things that make me feel better-water,a hot
shower(I am not a bath person), the sounds of
water like waves or a babbling brook,Yoga
or any form of exercise, relaxing jazz music
quiet surroundings,lighting in a room in a
pleasing way,gardens,outdoors,sun,horses,my dogs

Things that make me feel worse-chaotic situations,noise,drafts,cold, music in the
early morning,dark rooms,lighting in a room
that is not pleasing(both the room and the light),short winter days,negative people

I rarely have dreams or maybe I rarely remember them. If I am really nervous about
an upcoming event, I will usually have a dream(not a nightmare,never had a nightmare).
A few times in my life I have had a dream where I fall backwards off a cliff,waking up
and grabbing the bed.


I am a working student for a dressage rider.
I groom and ride Dutch Warmblood horses. I am also a budding web designer.

Physical complaints-Psoriasis I have had for
13 years, started when I stopped biting my nails(although I have an occassional need to bite if I am super stressed). I have it on my scalp behind both ears and a little on my right elbow. Starting to take milk thistle for this as I understand that skin disorders are liver related. Also I am using Boericke & Tafel Florasone cream 3-4 times daily which really helps.
Cholesterol is 240, has been as high as 264.
Now I am using flax seed oil and hexaniacin
to lower it.
My stomach seems to react to diary, black tea,coffee and white vinegar. I will usually wake up in the morning with a sharp vertical pain if I have eaten these foods the evening before.
As long as I avoid these things, my stomach is fine. In the past I took a Chinese herbal
combo for stomach(about 6 mo.) & it helped a lot.
Swollen glands seem to be a problem for the last few years(2-3 times per year), although
this year I haven't had swollen glands. It used to happen in February and June.


Kava I have been using about a year. The brand is Solgar(in a green glass bottle)150mg standardized full potency extract, 30%
kavalactones with 150 mg raw kava kava powder from root. It does alleviate some symptoms of anxiety like sweating palms,anxious anticipation of nothing. During menses I take it 1-3 times daily the first two days depending on the intensity of
the cramps.
I have tried Rescue Remedy from time to time and it did have a calming effect(also works for the horses), but I haven't really explored Bach flower remedies very much.

Fish was added to my diet because I started to feel undernourished. However, I will not
add poultry or meat.

In the last 3 years I have had trouble with
being able to stay focused and concentrating. I have always been a voracious reader now I can't finish a book, I lose focus. My memory is not as sharp, I used to be very detail-oriented with my memories. I can't seem to stay on my yoga program or any exercise program. I feel unmotivated. I have gained weight in the last couple of years, going from 98lbs(ages 16-29) to about 126. Now I am 111, a lot for a 4'11" small frame.

I have never had suicidal/religious thoughts.
My strong sense of humor has kept me going
when anxiety can make me feel defeated &
so frustrated. I am really a tough person and it takes a lot to get me down.

Along with homeopathic treatment I am going to try a book called Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers,Phd. I don't really
want to have to use Paxil, but if all else fails I will. My life can no longer be put on hold.