hi lilith -
thanks so much for your response:
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Do you think his delusions of being dominated are unreasonable? no - not unreasonable. i have never met her, but his descriptions are filled with enough detail to be convincing. she seems to be contrary by inclination; not that she says he can't have his own opinions, but is haughtily and superciliously dismissive of them, as though he were stupid to think such-and-so. she seems arbitrary - picks at this or that unpredictably, grounding him for things people would never think about, a casual gesture, an off-hand remark. this is my impression listening to peter, but i'd be surprised if it didn't capture her with some accuracy. Was his mother domineering, suffocating, bossy? yes - as described above, but i think it's not so much "bossing," as "domineering," in terms of attitude, her opinion is always right. he complained that she thought she understood him, but she really didn't. in fact, he couldn't stand it, he URGENTLY wanted to make her understand how he felt, and that he was a different person than she, with different values, opinions....
Another question; does the boy isolate himself from school friends intentionally, or was he kept at home largely by his mother. i don't think she restricted his activities, "just" his mind. at school, he was isolated but by choice, poor eye contact, downcast gaze, would give the appearance of frailty, weakness.
He seems struggling between two emotional states - thinking that he is being controlled entirely, by someone with different wishes to him - recognizing this doesn't sit right with him but still yielding. i'm unclear what you mean by 'yielding.' he doesn't yield to her opinions, and does argue with her; i don't know if he screams and yells, but i suspect he does at least to a degree--Oh, but maybe what you mean is he yields in the sense he is unable to express his own views and feelings adequately, he suppresses them, i suppose in a sense waiting until she finally understands and gives the 'ok.' when i told him how little children only know of the world through their parents, but as they grow older, as he has done, they begin to understand that there are other people in the world who, in context of his situation, saw things differently than the parents, and who would understand that he had his own opinions and even respect that ... when i said this to him, his eyes kind of lit up, like maybe there was a little bit of hope .... for getting out of this, finding other connections, finding himself.
This immediately made me think anacardium - also del=under a powerful influence; maliciousness towards that influence; indifferent; antisocial; dullness; confusion... but then he doesn't seem to have the nervousness; timid fidgeting, and apparently doesn't avoid challenging his mother..? you know, 'timid' might be a good word, 'cowed,' reluctant, and behind all this is the nervousness, the "hesitancy" is another good word. he reminds me of a boy, must have been 13 or 14 y.o., tourette's syndrome. i attended a staffing at the special school he attended. mother sat over 'there,' he sat across the table, and people all around. i happened to be in position to watch both of them. she would drone on and on and on, boring but insistent, plodding but unyielding. if you were a kid, or an adult at that meeting (!), you'd never get a word in edgewise, it would (and did) drive you (him) crazy. Anyway ... at one point the boy started making these strange, high-pitched 'la-di-da-di-da' sounds, and everyone just kind of exchanged glances, like, ooops, there goes the crazy kid with these bizarre noises. BUT, do you know what he was doing? i watched from my fortuitous perch: he was mimicking mother, imitating her point for point, almost simultaneously as she spoke, a sarcastic but deeply, emotionally violent, if disguised "echo," as though to say to her, "all you're doing is stupid old blah-blah-blah, why don't you just shut up?" my patient (peter) was more in control than that, less suppressed, less twisted up inside, but the same frustration.
Sorry to be of such little insight o by no means, quite the contrary, thank you for some very stimulating observations! i hope my responses provide some additional food for thought. thanks again!
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"The need to perform adjustments for covariates...weakens the findings." BMJ Clinical Evidence: Mental Health, (No. 11), p. 95.... It's that simple, guys: bad numbers make bad science.
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